Sunday, July 22, 2012


I'm going to create a  game. I'll call it Romneyville. It will exist in board and computerized versions. It would work best in a Facebook app format, a la Zoovile and Farmville,* but I highly doubt Facebook wants to add this game to its stable.The object of Romneyville will be to hide your assets and avoid taxation. The more assets you hide, the less you are taxed. The less you are taxed, the more assets you will be given to hide. It will be a viciously cyclical game.  The game pieces will be either miniature Romney busts, or mini-busts in the images of the five Romney sons. To avoid having to pay royalties to any of the real-life Romneys, I'll probably need to change the spelling of Romney. I don't know if I prefer Romny or Romnie, or perhaps even Romnay. I'll change the sons' names as well if I use them as player pieces.  Pitt, Witt[less], Wogg, Fogg, Dogg, Hogg, Sunn, Dinn, Tabb, Sabb, Radd,  Jedd, Tedd, Nedd, etc. It's not all that complicated.

I haven't decided how tithing fits into the picture. I suppose tithing could be used as a tool to help players pay fewer taxes. That's how it's sometimes used in real life. I suppose players could also use their tithing as a reason other players should not inquire into their finances. That, too happens in real life.

The little player piece figures will contain computerized chips that cause the figures to laugh uproariously whenever another player becomes poor. I doubt that the real-life Romneys have time for such nonsense, but it seems like a nice touch, just the same. The permanent Mitt piece at the center of the game will sing a bad rendition of "America the Beautiful." The Mitt piece will be rigged to sing anytime anyone successfully hides a sum of at least ten million dollars in a foreign account. My brother will record it for me. When he tries, my brother can sing just like Mitt Romney. Why anyone would ever want to sing just like Mitt Romney, though,  is a question for the ages.

*The game could feature baby Romneys popping up frequently, just like in real life, and you'd have to log in in time to feed them before they expired.

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