Monday, July 2, 2012

Inspired by Dog the Bounty Hunter, His Lovely Wife Beth, and Baby Lyssa: My New Career

I have an idea about what I want to do with my life. It involves being a bail bondswoman, but there's more.

My plan is this: I will bail criminals out of jail only if I think they're innocent. I'll use my law degree to defend them if I think they can get a fair trial. If I think the system is stacked against them, I'll help them escape to a nation from which they will not be extradited back to the U.S. Amnesty International may choose to be involved in my cause. I don't yet know which countries do not have extradition treaties with the U. S. I'll learn that in law school. It will be the first thing I've ever learned in school that had any practical value.
Then again, maybe i'll just look it up on Wikipedia.

One obvious complication to my plan is that it's going to be pretty damned expensive to post bail for these people  then forfeit it when they go on the lam. I simply don't have that kind of money. I'm going to need a benefactor -- someone incredibly wealthy who believes in my cause. If  I could work in cooperation with a church, my benefactor could give the money to the church, which could then hand it over to me. Then the benefactor could get, in addition to the feeling of doing a really good deed, a massive tax write-off. Any wealthy takers out there? Mitt Romney has a lot of money. Perhaps, generous soul that he is who always wants to help the underdog, Mitt will want to join forces with me.

Predictably, my dad thinks this is a terrible idea. He's very upset about it to the point that he's threatening not to pay my law school tuition. Everyone else just laughs about it.

Until I'm allowed to do something fun, I'm going to keep coming up with ideas every bit as brilliant as this one.


  1. I have one. You could be a surrogate mother and use your law degree to complete the adoption. If you tell your dad about this you have to blog about it. PLEASE

  2. Ambyland, I am SO going to use your idea. It's sheer brilliance. I'll blog about it.Thanks.