Sunday, July 22, 2012

An Electronic Gadget That Must Be Invented Yesterday

  • This item needs to be invented forthwith and hopefully not for a price that will require me to need to surreptitiously hock my parents’ few valuable possessions.
    What I desire is this: a TV, or a device that I can plug in to my existing TV, that will block any actor, entertainer, TV personality, or person in the news  whom I disenjoy watching or hearing. (I know disenjoy is not an actual word, but it works, so I'm going with it.) I still want to be able see the original program or movie, but I want the offending actor or personality’s image blacked out (or possibly visually overdubbed with the image of my choice, which would be that of Jesse Spencer) and the offending voice either erased or distorted, perhaps into one of those adult voices heard in the Charlie Brown movies.
    For the record, off the top of my head, the first people I will block are everyone one with the surname of Romney, Marie Osmond, Kate Gosselin,  and Rumer Willis. The Romneys because obviously., Marie Osmond merits inclusion because she ranks right up there with the Romneys both in the "Mormon Entitlement" department as well as  in the sheer annoyance factor. Kate Gosselin gives me nightmares, and furthermore causes me to appreciate my own mother; at my present  age of seventeen,  I elect not to spend undue time appreciating either of my own parents.  Rumer Willis you will agree, if you have any clue as to whom she even is, is deserving of inclusion on my list of exclusion because I she is arguably the least-talented person to have been seen on a TV program or in a movie since the onset of the 21st century.  
    Please tell me that this device exists or will exist before my next birthday (December 2) and that I won’t have to leave me parents without an estate to will to me in order to own it.
    Gung hay fat choy, because somewhere in the world it's probably New Year's 
    Alexis, and no, I'm not drunk


  1. I'd prefer a transporter. Cars and gas are expensive and my family lives so far away! I wouldn't be able to afford one I'm sure, but perhaps I could eventually get a hand me down from my family member who's better off monetarily speaking.
    Beam me up Scotty.

  2. I want one of these gadgets, Alexis! The first person I would block: Phil Mickelson. WORST celebrity endorsement of autoimmune arthritis ever, IMO. I have said all along that I would not wish RA on anyone, but I catch myself hoping for the day that enbrel stops working for him, like it did for me (along with remicade, humira, and a ton of oral meds. I'm still on the fence about orencia as I'm still in the trial stages.)

  3. Wow, Tina. Tha's tterribly interesting. I've only seen Phil Mickelson on the Enbrel commercials and on Sunday afternoons when my dad watches golf if it's not football season. Phil Mickelson isn't one of the ones he roots either for or against I'll have to watch him so I can form an opinion.

    I have an uncle who's a republican and who despises Laura Bush with almost unparalleled intensity. He's never articulated just what he dislikes so much about her. If he had the gadget, he'd bleep out Laura Bush even though she's hardly eve on tV anymore.

  4. A transporter would definitely be cool, Amelia. I read something recently about transporters for outer space that may be available in our children's or at least our grandchildren's lifetimes. They'll supposedly operate more efficiently than current space travel modules because they will move outer space around the vehicle as opposed to propelling the vehicle through space.