Wednesday, March 9, 2011

"House" Cuddy, Nightmares, Klonopin

I'm awake because I had a nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep afterward.
If I'm with either of my parents or my Pseudorelatives, or if Chairman Mao is present, I can go back to sleep folowing a nightmare. If only the graveyard staff is available to help me, I may as well begin my day at whatever time it is that the nigthmare occurred. It takes some time afterward for my heart rate to return to normal. After some nightmares, such as the one I just had, I have to take medication to slow my pulse.

I also took Klonopin, an anti-anxiety medication. following last night's/ this morning's nightmare. The nurse watching me says I shouldn't be blogging about this because addicts and other potential drug thieves will know that there is Klonopin in my house when I am at home. Since my real name isn't used here, though, I'm not terribly worried. Uncle Mahonri, sticky though his fingers may be, is not, to the best of my knowledge, either an addict or a drug thief, although if he were, that would go a long way toward explaining a few things about him that heretofore have been unexplained. Similar things could be said about much of the family on Dad's side. My parents do keep drugs locked anyway, and even if they didn't, they would when Dad's relatives were around. Dad's relatives have so many quirks already that the very last thing any of them needs is to add drug experimentation to their already mildly to moderately abnormal psychological states.

I finally got around to watching the most recent "House" episode. Cuddy broke it off with House at the end. If the writers plan to have House and Cuddy frequently breaking up and reconciling, I supposed I'll keep watching. They character of Gregory House is sufficiently erratic that his relationships would realistically be far from smooth. If, however, the writers finally brought the two characters together just to break them up, I will not watch anymore. Such is basically jerking the viewers around, and I don't intend to remain a viewer in order to be jerked around by writers. I'll monitor the program for a few weeks to see what direction the show is headed, but that will be all. Even the hunky Jesse Spencer, who probably does look a bit like pseudoUncle, won't be enough to entice me to continue following the show.

PseudoAunt -- the one who has cystic fibrosis -- has pneumonia. She was coming to California for a doctor's appointment that was scheduled for Monday, but the appointment has been moved up to Thursday. They'll be flying to California tomorrow. I hope the flight isn't endangering her health, but I understand why PseudoUncle wanted her California doctor to see her when she was actuall sick. If he sees her only when she's healthy, it could affect the course of treatment he recommends.

I may not spend much or any time with them on this trip. My mom called me and gave me a rather cold lecture about how everything is not about me and how I need not to bother the two of them right now. I'm not sure quite where my mom was coming from besides being her usual [I won't use the "h" word even though it probably applies] self. Of course I won't bother them. If one of them calls me and invites me to spend time with them I won't pass on the opportunity, but they obviously have weightier matters than my entertainment on their minds right now. I would also hope they understand that I would not expect to be entertained during any time spent with them on this trip. I just want PseudoAunt to be OK, like everyone else does. It's unfair of my mom to accuse me of thinking only of myself when I haven't spoken or written a word to anyone as all about the situation, until now, anyway.

I'm off to shower and make myself as un-ugly as possible for the day. Have a great Wednesday!


  1. Being misjudged can be a real curse.

    Your mom probably hasn't figured out that they invite you because you provide your 'aunt' with companionship from someone who is, in some ways, like-minded, someone who she considers as an equal in many ways.

  2. Good Morning, Little Angel!

    I admit I was unnecessarily hard on you. I know you're as concerned about Jillian as anyone is. I'm sorry you had a nightmare on Wednesday. Did you sleep better last night?

    Please call me when you have time today.


    P.S. What exactly is the "H" word?

  3. Initially I needed this to be able to sleep at night. flashbacks occurred all the time. I also needed it to help with the panic attacks. I dont need it anymore.