Monday, March 28, 2011

"All My Children" Is in Trouble

No, the title should not read "' All My Children' are in Trouble." I'm referencing the long-running daytime drama, "All My Children." Duh. Anyway, it seems that the future of the much-revered-by-many series may be in doubt. People around me are losing serious sleep over this.

My Pseudo-Uncle is providing a benefit concert tonight in my wing of the hospital. His concert isn't actually raising money for the cause of "All My Children." If one wishes to raise money for a cause by holding a benefit concert, holding it in the adolescent mental health wing of a hospital is not the most efficacious venue. What my uncle is trying to do is to help the people who are having trouble sleeping because of the uncertain future of "All My Children" by playing boring music so that they will fall asleep. He'll wonder around the floor with his guitar after everyone is in bed. He would use the piano, but it's not easy to push a piano around while one is playing and singing. It's probably been done before, but most likely with less-than-desired results.

PseudoAunt thinks this is the stupidest thing she's ever heard. She doesn't believe in soap operas. Her disbelief in them isn't akin to her disbelief in UFOs or the The Ghost of Bardsley Road. She acknowledges that soap operas are real and are here to stay. She just doesn't believe in watching them.

I haven't had much soap opera viewing time, either. If I had even tried to watch one when my parents were home, at least one of my parents would have blown a head gasket. Perhap it's time for that to change. When my parents sent me away to this place, it must have occurred to them that I might pick up a few unsavory habits. Perhaps soap opera viewing will be one of those habits. It might lower my iQ by a few points, but as my father is so fond of saying [about himself], I have a few points to spare.

We're having an "All My Children" wake here in the loony bin tomorrow. Everyone who wishes to participate will dress as a character. I've already called dibs on Opal (Gardner, Martin, Cortland). I've never seen the show, but I consulted wikipedia, and to me she seems the most compelling character.

Would it be disrespectful of the near-dead to say that I actually prefer what I've seen of "Days of Our Lives" to "All My Children"? My mom has told me stories from when she was a kid and when her sisters watched "Days of our Lives" and "General Hospital." Those shows had some seriusly convoluted plots about stuff like diamond-making machines that controlled the temperature of the Earth. It was amazing that anyone even watched.

4 comments:

  1. You are amazing. Other people are falling apart but you just go on about your business like it has nothing to do with you when in some cases it does. Words can hurt and can do real harm. I know you're technically a kid but that doesn't take away all of the power of your words. I admit that you didn't cause the problem but you are definitely making it worse. Have a little mercy.

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  2. You are amazing. Other people are falling apart but you just go on about your business like it has nothing to do with you when in some cases it does.

    Well, gee, anonymous, that's what people do in the real world.

    I admit that you didn't cause the problem but you are definitely making it worse. Have a little mercy.

    Aha! It's our old friend, Blame Transfer!

    "So-and-so is not to blame for the situation, but let's transfer the blame on to them in any case!"

    Because that's so much easier than dealing with the real cause of a situation, isn't it?

    Under those circumstances the little boy who pointed out that the emperor was on parade naked would have been prosecuted for causing a breach of the peace, whilst the emperor was allowed, or even encouraged, to roam around naked, because people were too scared to say to him: "Oi! Emperor! You are stark-naked! Put some clothes on!"

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  4. Thanks again, Matt. The relatives are out again in full force. As usual, I'm their go-to scapegoat.

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