Saturday, April 6, 2013

What is it about General Conference that brings out the sanctimony or slackery in Mormons?

                 Sung: It's the mossssst won-der-ful tiiiime of the yeeeaaar!

Since it's Saturday and I have no need to be awake, I wake up early of course. Isn't that the way it always works?

I need to purchase a few materials for projects for my courses that I'll need to have on hand. I like to get those things early so that in two weeks when I begin "The Big Push," the shopping and little errands have been run, and I can concentrate on the work at hand.  I'm actually somewhat excited about "The Big Push" this quarter.

Incidentally, I borrowed the term , "The Big Push," from the late great Vince Lombardi, legendary coach of the Green Bay Packers in the 1960's. Each time the players felt that they had reached the point that they could push themselves nor be pushed by anyone else any further than had alreay been done, Lombardi would announce, "Next week we begin 'The Big Push,' " leaving his player wondering what more they could possibly give of themselves. The tactic was sone of many Lombardi employed that worked, though.

I don't know if Vince Lombardi could be successful in today's world of football. With the strength of today's players' unions, the general lack of loyalty of most players to their teams, and the overall selfishness of many [not all] players, who want personal glory more than team success, the degree to which Lombardi pushed his players, and the authoritarianism with which he ran his teams might not be accepted by the modern professional football player. In his day, though, he was unparalleled.

LDS general conference is upon us. I believe the General Relief Society (the women's organization) meeting took place last week, and the General Priesthood Meeting  (excluding all women so that the men could be told things too sacred for the ears of women) should have happened last night.  Today and tomorrow will be morning and afternoon general sessions.  The biggie is, I think, on Sunday morning, although I may be confused and it may actually be Sunday afternoon. I think it's Sunday morning, though, where any major announcements will be made. I think that's when they announced the changes in the ages of eligibility for missionaries to begin their service, thereby screwing up the lives of a whole lot of young people, who had thoroughly mapped out then next few years of their lives. It didn't occur to the big boys to disseminate this information as soon as they came up with it, as time is of the essence in planning. It was more important to save the announcement for a dramatic moment, such as the prime time segment of General Conference.  Drama is everything with the Mormons. Even Joseph Smith's first vision was pretty damned dramatic, when you get right down to it.

The Recovery from Mormonism Board typically shuts down for maintenance and for a much-needed break for the moderators the first weekend of each month. I believe there has been talk of shifting the shutdown on General Conference weekends because there is so much for the exmos and connected nevermos to discuss during General Conference.  I do hope the board is kept open this weekend . I'll have to  check it out.

I do wish they would annouce the schedule of speakers in advance. They cannot do that, however, because everyone would tune out when Richard Scott (I'm boycotting the head honchos' first or middle initials, as they're regular people as are the rest of us -- no better or worse -- and normal people don't go around introducing themselves or calling themselves by either their first initial and middle name or first name followed by middle initial; it's pretentiousness any way one views it)  or other similarly sleep- or seizure-inducing speakers were on the docket. On the other hand, everyone would tune in for my personal favorite, Dieter Uchtdorf. While I don't agree with his religious views, I personally find him charming. I know it's desgined that way. It's a role he fills, and I'm doing exactly as expected by considering him charming. Just as a TV show or movie writes a character's part so that viewers will love or hate the character as expected, the church picks out its heroes and hard-to-like guys and we, even the peripheral Mormons such as myself, usually fall for it. Still, I find Dieter Uchdorff charming, Additionally  he was very kind to my pseudoaunt when she was critically ill. He would have to come out with a Boyd Packer-type speech for me to dislike him. Even if that happened, I'd suspect the Mormon body snatchers had replaced his brain with one of their computer-generated  venom-spewing zombie brains.

So all you Mormons out there, enjoy your week away from church if that's what you intend to do. There's always Tivo, or you can read the transcripts of all the "talks." I think the highlights are even on Twitter.  Everyone else in the Christian world calls them sermons, and it's preaching [in the negative context] if I've ever heard preaching, but the Mormons prefer the more folksy term,  "talks." Next Sunday, its back to the grind for you all. Enjoy your week of freedom if that's how you choose to spend it.

P.S. I'm taking the weekend off from dressing as a slut, mainly because my parents know nothing about my social experiment.



  1. I salute you for boycotting the initials. But I am sooo bummed I missed Relief Society. (snort)

  2. They do this every six months to keep everyone on task...

  3. The irony is that for many of the rank and file members whose presence isn't required at Temple Square and who are expected to be at home watching it on TV or at some ward meetinghouse watching it on sattellite, they're all hither and yon, and nowhere near their TVs because they don't have to find someone to teach their primary or priesthood classes, play the organ, etc. Some don't even bother to Tivo.