Friday, June 14, 2013

people who follow you and then don't, Judge Alex Ferrer in this case

Judge Alex used to follow me on Twitter. Then he deleted me without notice or explanation. I just happened to notice it.  I don't know why he did, but it was apparently easy as a click of a button. I happened to notice that now he doesn't follow me. It wouldn't bother me if he had never followed me, but when he followed me and then deleted me, it got to me.  I never sent PMs except twice in response to ones he sent. I tried not to bother him.  It was more trouble on his part to delete me than to just leave it alone. I wonder why he went to the trouble of deleting me.  I've gone back and forth on the "he's a nice guy/no, he  isn't" pendulum enough times that almost anyone would be dizzy.

He has "fans" who bother them with their asinine remarks almost daily. He continues to follow them. I wonder why? Is there something that they can do for him that I cannot? I really don't know. In many cases, it's not because they're especially good-looking, because many, in fact most of them are not. Even considering their ages, they're not physically attractive. Many are grossly overweight if not morbidly obese. Some of them show up at events where he will appear almost to the point that they are practically stalkers.  I don't do any of such things. If I did, would he like me better? I cannot help wondering.

I don't  really believe  it's the perception of being a pedophile that causes him to distance himself further from me than he was in the first place. I am eighteen now, and furthermore, I never threw myself at him in any way, much less in the way that some of those whom he follows do.  Nor do I believe his wife went through his list and deleted anyone who was pretty, because if such were the case, I'd still be on his list. I'm not butt-ugly, but neither am I beauty queen material.

Either he or someone else, and I believe it was he, because I choose to believe he controls his own Twitter followers, made a conscious choice to click a button and un-follow me.  I cannot help taking it personally. I did nothing to earn his wrath or even his rejection. Perhaps if I were to convince my father to dedicate his next journal article to Judge Alex, he would follow me again. Or, for that matter, my godfather is an owner of a very large dairy operation. If I begged hard enough, I could possibly get him to name an entire dairy cow line after the Judge and his progeny, or after various aspects of his TV operation.  Since dairy cows are female, they would have to be  "Alejandra," "Masonia," etc., and I could incorporate his family names in as well, although I don't know how his wife would feel about having a heifer named after her. If I were she, I wouldn't be crazy about the idea.

Regardless, I would never stoop to such levels. If he will only like me if I manage to have journal articles about multiple myeloma dedicated to him or dairy cattle named after him, he was never really even my "Twitter" friend, much less my real-life friend.  Maybe it's different with the middle-aged women who drool over him.  Perhaps their adulation boosts them over the top to the extent that he actually likes them. Somehow I think if I did that, though, even were it not beneath my dignity, I think it would creep him out.  Maybe if my family were a Nielson rating family, he would ignore the"creep out" factor and not kick me off his list of people he follows. I'll never know, though, because my family is not among the elite few whose choices impact what stays on TV and what goes off for the entire nation. I'm merely a lone unimportant eighteen-year-old girl or woman.

I can't help wondering if Judge Alex has any idea that a simple click of a button actually hurts a person's feelings. I've read and heard that the true measure of a person's character can be measured in how he treats someone who is not in a position to do anything for him or her. If such is the case, Judge Alex's character comes up short.   


  1. Alexis, I'm taking a moment to let you know how I love your blog .I don't usually leave a comment I let your friends first post and then.... maybe.
    But this one today made me crack up cause is like you enter my mind and picked up my thoughts. ha ha ha
    I don't think that J.A. did it on purpose maybe he mix you up with someone else.
    He was the one who posted on his FB that he would follow fans if they want to be followed by him .
    I said to myself: oh God why did he do that? Certain people yes but everybody?
    Why on earth I want him to follow me my Tweets are full of political articles about Greece. Anyways I loved your mentioning the cows whether animals or not. another think, he now calls his stalkers ...followers. Nice work Alexis I got to go ,Greece is calling.

  2. Aw Alexis, it's happened to me, too. I'm on Twitter, but I don't Tweet much. I spend a lot more time on Facebook and I always know when I lose "friends". Sometimes it bothers me, if it happens to be someone I know personally or it's a family member. Other times, I figure they had a personal problem...

    Anyhoo, I know it sucks. I'm finding more satisfaction with my blog lately. In the past few weeks, I've gotten comments from an artist I blogged about and an author whose book I reviewed a few years ago. That's pretty satisfying!

  3. He did the same thing to me a while back; followed me for a few weeks and then unfollowed. At the time I was surprised because, like you said, it does take effort to unfollow people. But, the relationship isn't anything more than a celebrity/fan/ communication/interaction-- friendship being an extreme term in that it sort of paints everything a bit more personal than I think it is. At least on his part.

    My general impression of Judge Alex, is that he is a personable guy that enjoys hearing from his fans, because he is a personable guy. I think he bites off bigger pieces than he can chew with a lot of things, too. And, I also think he underestimates the impression that leaves on people, in what does and does not matter to them; unfollowing and unfriending.

  4. Becca, I'm sure you're absolutely right, but I cannot help being offended when I wasn't being a burden to him, and when he continues to have people like Sandy and Gail on the list of people he follows. I never believed he was an actual "friend," as I'm not quite THAT delusional (you at least met him), but in terms of biting off more than he can chew, unfollowing me did litle to ease his burden. Locating my icon and clicking "unfollow" was more effort than ignoring my occasional tweet, which I could still send if I really wanted to unless he's blocked me. I suppose I could be really immature, which I'm allowed to be because I'm even younger than his kids are, and totally bombard him with tweets much more than I ever did when he followed me. I think I'd rather pretend he does not exist except to make the occasional derogatory comment about him.

    Please do me a big favor. This is terrribly morbid to the point that I hesitate to bring it up, but if something really out-of-the-ordinary happens and I die anytime soon, please send him a tweet saying that my final wish was for him to speak at my funeral. I know he wouldn't, and I wouldn't actually want him to, but knowing from wherever I was that he was squirming about having to make unncomfortable and possibly dishonest excuses would be a consolation to me. Don't worry; I haven't had any death premonitions or anything like that, but one never knows when some out-of-control driver is going to veer onto a sidewalk and take out half a dozen people in one fell swoop. If such should happen to me, I'd like for there to be at least one positive aspect to the whole thing.

    1. Sure, I'd do that for you. If you ever wanted me to message him on your behalf while you were in the hospital, I would do that too. I just never know exactly what you and your parents want and don't want, in that regard.

      When you had your appendix out, I suggested you be mentioned in a "Fan of the Day" video, then they e-mailed asking for more information that, given your general adherence to privacy, I didn't feel that I was involved enough in your personal life to give. I didn't want to over step a line with your parents.

      But, I would definitely do any of that for you.

      Re Sandy and Gail; I get what you mean. They are truly the ultimate fans. Maybe he doesn't want to rattle the boat. He knows you're not going to complain. I wish I was as outspoken as they are, but I'm not. Every thing that I write to him I question it far too severely. I know you're probably the same way.

  5. Becca, when I was in the hospital, I don't think he gave a rip. He did send pseudoaunt a message the time she almost died snd when she graduated from law school, but she was actively on his FB page immediately prior to that. She rarely goes there anymore because one person there told here that everyone else there can't stand her and frequently makes fun of her behind her back. Scott convinced her she had better things to do with her time. I'm not quite sure what they had or have against her, but that's why I actively dislike Sandy, Gail, Francene, Joyce, and that witch JoAnn who is seldom around anymore but still travels to their gatherings.Since their gatherings are often in southern California, Jillian has considered showing up at one just to make them uncomfortable, but Scott doesn't want her to.

    When Jillian was in the hospital after her second case of appendicitis it grew back after it was removed when she was fourteen) and pneumonia, Francene wrote that she had something like 33 different diagnoses, and that Jillian needed to get over herself because any person could be as healthy as he or she wanted to be. Jillian happened to scroll back and read that after she got home. She responded to Francene something to the effect of, "Francene, I don't know anything about your 33 different diagnoses, although I'm willing to bet that at least one of them is fibromylgia, but regardless, I have freaking cystic fibrosis. If you know something my doctors don't about how I can be every bit as healthy as I want to be with this condition and how the treatments do not have to be life-altering or the illness itself doesn't have to be life-threatening, by all means please tell me, as I'm dying to hear what you have to say. And while you're at it, tell it to Celine Dion as well, who lost a niece to the condition, or to sportswriter Frank Deford, whose daughter died of it. I'm sure they and many others be very interested in hearing your expertise concerning how people with cystic fibrosis can be every bit as healthy as they want to be and how it's all in their heads." Gail, JoAnn, and that imbecile Yesenia blocked her right after that, but according to one person,those who didn't block her continued to make fun of her. She decided if these were the sort of people the judge counted among his nearest and dearest fans, she didn't necessarily need to be considered a part of them, although she never un-followd the judge.

    If I were in the hospital, I don't think the Judge would be terribly concerned. As I recall, I never heard a word from him last time. If I died, however . . . It's not that I have any desire to die, whatsoever, as I don't, but it would be some consolation, sitting on a cloud and watching him lie and come up with excuses as to why he couldn't possibly say a few words at my funeral. It might even get to his seemingly non-existent conscience.

    He's an interesting fellow. Sometimes I think I should scan a picture of one of my older and more buxom cousins just to see what sort of response they would get by throwing themselves at him.

    1. It's easy to judge people we don't know. Especially when it comes to gaining the acknowledgment of a celebrity. People (women specifically) can be very catty.

      I don't visit his facebook page as much as I used to, mostly because I changed, I think. I've matured to the point that I don't have to tell every single person about my struggles. My mom was the person who first told him about my illness, and then people asked, and between being 15 and malnourished to the point that everything was... I don't know, huge... I talked about it more than I should have, perhaps. I guess that's what 15 year olds do. They make stupid choices that are defining. I'm just glad it wasn't in a severe way.

      I'm sorry Jillian had to deal with that bullying, on top of her struggles. Especially when you're going through something as emotional as an illness, to have people make snide remarks, or worse, question the reality and severity of it, it's not right and it's not their right. No matter if they were friends, or they thought they were shedding light on something everyone deserves respect. And if you despise someone enough to mock them on a facebook fan page, at least do yourself a favor and respect yourself by simply not saying anything. If someone can rattle you that badly from a blurb on a website... it's embarrassing.