Monday, June 3, 2013

boycott WALMART with renewed vigor

I can't really give my reasons for this right now, but I am rededicating myself and my efforts to the resolution not to shop at Walmart. Before, I was merely humoring my father in what I considered just one of his many eccentricities, which was a not entirely explicable loathing of Sam Walton and everything associated with the man.  Since then, I've learned that my father is just a wee bit less stupid than for which I have previously given him credit. Things have happened to cause me to join my father in his resolve to avoid Walmart at almost all costs.

By almost all costs, I mean that if I happen to have eaten at a Taco Bell -- and Taco Bell has an eerily quickening effect on my digestive system --- I will patronize the Walmart restroom if it's convenient to do so.  I'll make liberal use of the corporation's undoubtedly top-grade toilet paper. I'll flush numerous times to ensure that no amount of my germ-infested waste  is left for the next customer, or, then again, I may not flush at all; it just depends upon my mood. Next,  I'll use enough of the corporation's high-quality soap (which is probably the same stuff the Walmart janitors use to scrub the restroom floors and toilets, IF, and it's a big if , they scrub the floors and toilets at all) to rid myself of MRSA or whatever other pathogen  I may have picked up just from walking through a WalMart. I'll rinse the conceivably toxic cleaning products from my hands liberally, hoping all the while that the water flowing through the faucets hasn't been diverted from the toilet output to the sinks, and I'll make generous use of the paper towels or air-drying system,  or both if both options are available. When I get home, I'll need to take a steaming hot shower to sterilize myself.

On my way out, I will not make a purchase even if I'm practically bleeding to death and have to crawl across the street to a Kmart or CVS or Rite Aid to purchase BandAids or similar products.  None of my money is going to  WalMart unless the ghost of Sam Walton shows up at my house -- with or without bones; do ghosts have bones? -- and steals it, which, from what I've read about the man's business practices when he was alive, I would not consider to be beyond possibility.


  1. I happen to agree with you, but what in the world brought on this rant?

    I read a great book about ten years ago that helped convince me of WalMart's evilness...

    Here's a link to the review.

  2. Oops... just re-read and see that you can't say why you're ranting... Well, just know that I agree with you wholeheartedly. One nice thing about our upcoming move is that it will get us out of this town, which does not have a Target...

  3. While my StepDad doesn't hate Walmart, with his old age he has become a lot more vocal to the staff in any and every store about their contradictory prices. For instance, on Memorial Day he bought some of those large blue plastic cups at our local Giant. For some reason, he picked up a package at the back of the store vs. a package at the front of the store where they were proclaiming that they were on sale. Come to find out the sale price was actually more expensive than the non sale price and the sale packages came with less cups.

    Capitalism preys on mass ignorance.

  4. Your stepdad, aging or not, is onto something.

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