Thursday, December 12, 2013

Breaking the Code

the ever classy Mellie

Following the hoity toity mucky-muck unversity soiree for drunks at which I provided background music, I took in a few more episodes of Gypsy Sisters. I'm beginning to understand almost half of the words that come from their mouths. "Ninnie" is actually Nettie. She's the sister of crazy pregnant Mellie and the mother of fifteen-year-old Nuckie, who has run away once again with ne'er do well Pookie. Nettie's sidekicks think she needs to give up on her daughter, because her daughter is fifteen, and apparently, as far as most gypsies are concerned, you need to allow your children to do whatever they want once they've turned fifteen. My life would have been a whole lot easier if my parents had adopted that philosophy. Then again, maybe not.

My dad walked in and sat down during the middle of a discussion about Nuckie and Pookie. Where the hell do they find these names? If Nettie AKA Ninnie in the garbled Romani enunciation wonders why her daughter doesn't have a 4.49 GPA and isn't being courted by Ivy League colleges and military academies, she need look no further than at herself and at the dignified name she stuck on the poor girl. Judging by names alone, Nuckie and Pookie are kindred spirits and were totally made for each other. I don't see why Nettie/Ninnie is complaining.

I'm digressing once again. Back to my dad, who listened to the dialogue, then began singing a hideous  song:

     Nuckie and Pookie were lovers.

     Oh Lordy, how they did love.

     They swore to be true to each other,
     As true as the stars up above.

     He was her man.

     He wouldn't do her wrong.

I told my dad to hold onto his day job for now. I'm sure it's an actual song and that he just changed the names at the beginning, because as lame as he is, I don't think he could come up with anything quite so lame on his own off the top of his head.  I'll google it later and see if I can find out what was  the actual song he ripped off.

Anyway, Nettie and Kayla had the catfight last week because Pookie and Nuckie set (sic) right in the middle of Kayla's house together and Kayla didn't even have the decency to  tell Nettie about it.

JoAnn is back in town. I'm not quite sure who JoAnn is yet or where she was before she was back in town.. Sheena is, I think, a gorja. I don't know if she married into the Romanis or if she was adopted into the train wreck.

Nettie made an appointment for Mellie to have her baby pictures taken. Mellie han't yet given birth. I assumed it was an ultrasound Mellie would be having, but it was actually pictures of her pregnant and tattoed belly. The photographer took tons of shots, too. I wonder if they're all just living it up because of the TLC money they're getting, or if they lived so extravagantly all along.  Do their husbands make so much money scouring the country and  pretending to pave people's driveways (when they're really just spray-painting black goo on them and taking the money and running before the surfsces crack) that these people are legitimately wealthy?

Someone (Kayla, I think) went to the park with her kids or someone else's kids or both, and spit watermelon seeds at a perfectly innocent tree that, as far as I could tell, had never wronged them in any way. Then Kayla or whoever the person was  made ham and cheese sandwiches with pork and beans on them. It looked worse than anything I've ever seen my aunt Marthalene cook, and she's cooked up some vile concoctions.

The oldest child at the park with Kayla looked a lot like I look. She was more olive-skinned, though that may just have been a fake motor-oil tan, and her hair and eyes were darker than mine, but still she could have been  be me except with rather large hoop earrings.

If what these people say is even halfway starting to make sense to me, does that mean I'm dropping IQ points by the minute?

1 comment:

  1. As I read you dad's lyrics, a well-known melody popped into my head that would fit them... But I don't know the song's title.