Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Aunt is Still Tripping

I spoke with Auntie on the phone today. She was trying to make sense of the various "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" and related spin-off series. That's one way I know she's under the influence of some mind-altering substance. She would never leave a Kardashian show on for long enough to try to make sense of it, as though sense exists to be made of it in the first place. She kept calling me and asking who these different characters (I call them characters rather than people because, to me, it's all just bad acting) were. She wanted to know what happened to Reggie Bush. Then she was getting Scott Disick confused with Rob Kardashian and was wanting to know why even a network as low-brow as E! would show a brother and sister who had a kid together and were preparing to become intimate again. Her vision was blurred, too, and she thought Kris Jenner was the actress who once played Felicia (or however the character's name was spelled) on Another World. I'm sure the actress has been on another soap since Another World's demise, but I have so little exposure to soaps that it's a miracle I even knew about Felicia and Another World.My aunt was also confused in regard to why Bruce Jenner was spending so much time at the Kardashians' home. She couldn't get it through her Vicodin-addled brain that the late (may he rest in peace) Robert Kardashian's former wife is now married to Bruce Jenner. Either that, or she just didn't really care, but was so bored and stoned that she kept calling me anyway. She's also confused about how any of these people other than maybe Bruce Jenner have attained sufficient stature in life to be extended the honor (or dishonor) of a reality TV series. I told her it's a question for the ages, and pundits have been trying to solve the puzzle since the very first Kardashian-related series aired.

The verdict is not yet in on my prom date. Both the person and the situation are being investigated from numerous angles. If the invitation was or is sincere, I feel sorry for the guy. If it wasn't or isn't, he deserves any scrutiny or bad publicity that falls his way. I hope to have an answer soon. Either way, I know my life will continue on its same boring course.

Sayonara!

5 comments:

  1. I know my life will continue on its same boring course.

    Boring? Your life? Boring?

    That's not how it looks to casual outside observers, Alexis. It looks quite interesting! (Quite interesting is an old British way of saying: "very interesting.")

    ReplyDelete
  2. matt, I'm glad it doesn't seem boring to you. I need to look on the bright side. My cousins gew up in southern Idaho. Their lives made mine look like the life of Christina Aguilera or some similarly exciting person. 9Not that I'd trade lives with Ms. Aguilera at the momoent.)

    ReplyDelete
  3. But to someone living in England, Idaho sounds infinitely interesting and even romantic.

    It's the home of the Idaho potato, too.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Matt.
    I hope you enjoyed your holiday and the wedding. My cousin is stationed in Kuwait and works with numerous Brits, almost all of whom expressed disdain for the wedding and referred to the former Miss Middleton as a "filthy commoner." It upset me to hear her spoken of in such a manner by her own people. I find her to be perfectly lovely and well=mannered, and the fact that her family earned their own wealth and work for a living as opposed to having inherited it along with land and accopanying titles while doing little more than sitting on said land makes the Middletons seem all the more desirable. I like the Windsors as well, and think William made a fine choice. (I was charmed by William's choice of the children of palace employees as pageboys as well. It's an honor that has to have meant more to their families than the same honor would have meant to the families of the elite nobility, not that they're bad people merely for being nobility. Still, I found it a touching gesture.) My cousin's British co-workers are also fond of questioning Prince Harry's paternity. According to them, he bears a remarkable resemblance to a Major Hewitt, or something like that. Let us hope that Prince William and his bride produce heirs so that questions of Prince Harry's paternal lineage never pose any sort of threat to the monarchy.) My cousin's co-workers notwithstanding, I find all of these royals a breath of fresh air; they're dignified while being delightfully human.
    I just happened to talk to my cousin who's in Kuwait with the U. S. Navy by telephone a few moments ago. Otherwise I would not be privy to the opinions of his Bristish comrades.
    Dr. Jeff spent several years in Idaho, and he texted me that I was a bit unfait in my comments. He said that parts are breathtakingly beautiful. The mountainous border with Montana along the Bitterroot range of the Rockies is lovely, as is the southeastern part, in view of the Grand Tetons. He says the panhandle region is nice if almost unlivable in winter as well.The part my cousins inhabit is shown in the movie "Napoleon Dynamite." If you've never seen the pic, give it a try someday. Also, much of Idaho is a home of some of our gun-toting, second-amendment-spouting "Constitutionalists," who, in my opinion, give a bad name to Americans everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You may visit anytime you want, but you're never getting your grubby hands on any steering wheel that belongs to either one of us without at least one of us along for the ride, little girl.
    Love you.
    Uncle Scott

    ReplyDelete