Even though I'm maybe one month older than the median age in the dorms, I'm becoming a bit of a caretaker. It's an odd role. Some people, in getting out of the clutches of their parents, have a tough time with the freedom and don't use much common sense. This is mostly an issue with drinking, but it's also a problem in terms of kids who stay up too late, which I also do, but then cannot get up and make it to class. I refuse to be anyone's alarm clock. They'll have to get themselves to bed and up and to class. I don't stay awake in the common areas because i don't want to encourage anyone else to do that. I can get away with doing it because I'm disciplined enough to force myself out of bed whether i'm tired or not, but it's much harder for the kids who have never had to get themselves up. I will make a bit of noise just in case they're really not waking up as opposed to wilkfully sleeping through alarms, but that's the extent of my human alarm clock responsibility.
In terms of drinking, they're going to drink. I cannot stop it. I encourage them to put off as much as possible until the weekend, and drinking isn't a new activity to most of these people, so getting wasted practically to the point of alcohol poisoning is neither necessary nor excusable. Nearly all of the freshmen here have almost all had considerbly more drinking experience than I've had. I do hand out Excedrin in the morning, and I keep good orange juice in my fridge, which I share. I need to ask my uncles about that "Chaser" stuff. I've heard it works, but maybe it's not a good thing for college students. Perhaps the fear of being ill or hung over is what keeps their drinking within a safe range, and if they thought they would have no consequences to face the next morning, it would be dangerous. I'm merely speculating. Regardless, I'm not buying the stuff for them. I would like to know whther it's a good idea to recommend it or not.
I'm a little young to be the dorm mother, and the senior residents are not sharing their paychecks with me, so I will limit my responsibilities. Still, if I see someone obviously struggling, I will try to help. I've been able to help get several students' grades in chemistry from barely passing to reasonably high. I feel more qualified to offer academic assitance than life skills assistance. It's a bit funny, but if these people knew I spent most of my final year of high school in a psych ward, I don't think they would be clamoring for my guidance. What they don't know does not hurt them.
This blog is ended. Go now in peace to love and serve the Lord, and go to class. Getting notes from the world's greatest note-taker is a poor substitute for actually being present for lectures.
Don't knock your experiences in the psych ward... My time on the couch changed my life significantly for the better.
ReplyDeleteI agree with knotty. My experience in therapy has changed my life significantly. I wish more people would go. I tend to be paranoid about how I think and feel about things, and talking about those fears in therapy has really helped me gain clarity about myself. Even if I am still rather neurotic. It has helped piece me back together in many regards.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're being a good example to your friends at the dorm. I think you're right where you need to be. Don't let yourself get taken advantage of. Say what you don't want, and maintain boundaries with them. You'll be happier for it. At the end, college is about really stepping up and taking responsibility for where you're going. It's no longer about your parents. If they really want to make the grade, they'll figure out what they need to do. If they're having trouble, I'm told there are plenty of people on campus to help. All you can do is support them.
Good luck with the "Big Push" this week.
PS: Thanks for the advice you e-mailed about the SAT. It went as well as I think it could have. Scores come back the 24th. Which is making me c r a z y. Depending on what happens, I may take it again. As long as they're good enough for my ideal college, they're good enough for me. So, we'll see. I just wanted to let you know that I did read and reflect on what you sent, and I appreciate it.
DeleteMy mom tells me we're lucky. She says they waited around a lot longer for results back in the day, which is the rough equivalent toparents telling their children that they walked barefoot in the snow to school seven months of the year.
ReplyDeleteYep. In my day, we had to wait for the results to show up in the mail weeks later. It was much better when I took the GRE and got the results immediately because I took the test on a computer. I did better on the GRE, too... though I didn't do particularly brilliantly on either test.
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