At this particular moment, I am deeply depressed that I've amassed eighty-three quarter units of university credit, not county advanced placement courses. My dismay is not due to a change in majors, nor is it because I have a dismal GPA that I must undo. I'm still at 4.0 (which, for all you little high school flunkies, is the maximum GPA one can have at a university; we don't have a bogus inflated system).
I'm feeling regretful because just two minutes ago I was blessed with the inspiration of an ingenious plan. I still can and will implement my plan, but it would have made a more profound statement had i confined myself to its terms for the duration of my undergraduate university matriculation.
My brilliant plan is this: from this point forward, I will use Wikipedia as my sole resource bank for any and all compositions I author. In doing this I will maintain my 4.0 GPA. This is, I concede, more easily said than done. I cannot restrict my list of works cited to Wikipedia, obviously, but I will limit my sources to those listed in Wikipedia's bibliography for my topic or any Wikipedia entry related to my topic. In a worst-case scenario, I may even resort to editing Wikipedia's existing entries to reflect additional sources I must cite.
In making this bold statement, I hereby challenge the notion that my generation's contribution to the world of research is not a worthy source for scholarly inquiry.