Sleepless in Santa *****/ Other Options for Some of My Favorite People

I kept myself awake all day and actually made it up and down the stairs about twelve times and outside to walk the dog once. Nonetheless, sleep eludes me. It may have something to do with the fact that final exam scores and grades are being posted for my last three classes by noon tomorrow.

As far as Jared is concerned, he can take a flying leap from just about any rock jutting out over the Pacific and land a complete belly-flop, and it would only serve to amuse me. To say that he is the very least of my concerns at the moment would be an understatement.

As far as the Judge  is concerned, he could join up with his Texas/Oklahoma/ Southern California/Georgia/ Tennessee contingent and make a home for themselves --  with or without his present wife  -- I couldn't care much less either way --  right in the middle of  Warren Jeffs' polygamous Yearning for Zion Ranch, and it would only make me happy for all of them, because it would seem that they've all already found their true callings in life, which involve something very similar to that lifestyle. For that matter, with Warren Jeffs locked up for the foreseeable future, perhaps the Judge  would be a suitable replacement to lead Warren's flock. Warren had been doing a pretty good job of leading the sheep himself from his prison cell, but as of late, the system has been cracking down on his ability to rule from the confines of prison. Perhaps this is where the Judge should step in. I suspect he could come up with some creative revelations all on his own with no help whatsoever from Warren. Furthermore, I suspect he would crack down on the pedophilia that has run rampant since the place was instituted. It seems the Judge is not fond of pedophilia, which is presumably his excuse for why he no longer even exchanges pleasantries with with either me or a similarly aged friend of mine.

Business as usual could continue for most of them. The Judge filmed from Texas before. It could be done again. He might be operating his courtroom under a new set of laws, as opposed  to ruling according to the jurisdiction in which a case was filed. The Judge, however, has shown himself to be a quick learner. He could even limit himself to cases involving the ranch and Warren's/the Judge's sect. He could settle which young get thrown off the property with nothing buth the clothing on their bodies and become Lost Boys. He could decided , as Warren for so long did, who gets to marry whom. He could even reserve the choicest of the young brides for himself, although, if truth is to be known, with all the inbreeding that's gone on for generations, not many are all that choice in either the physical appearance department or in the cognitive development domain.  He could also decide, with the widom of Solomon,  which men get thrown out of the faith and off the property, and could divide up their property and wives accordingly. If one really thinks about it, it would be far more interesting than his show under its present circumstances.  Furthermore, I suspect the lifestyle would suit him well.  He never totally seemed all that monogamous by nature, although I will refrain from commenting about any, all, or none of the extramarital activities in which he's engaged himself, because, as a non-stalker, I have no idea what he's been up to in his spare time.

The others could continue their normal day-to-day activities, most of which I have no clue as to what they might be.  I understand that the YFZ Ranch is an excellent place for breeding and raising cattle. The judge would be on site to determine which specimens he wanted named after himself.  The YFZ ranch needs a choir every bit as much as does Dunwoodie , Georgia, and would similarly be in need of nightly weather reports. The Wicked Witch  Beautiful Christian of Tennessee could just as easily function as the Wicked Witch   Beautiful Christian of  YFZ.   Facilities accessible for morbidly obese people could easily enough be constructed there.  English grammar is not at a particularly high premium on the YFZ ranch, so various members of the Judge's coterie would find themselves right at home among the under-educated population who speak and write as though the concept of subject/verb agreement has yet to be invented and their formal educations were cut off somewhere between fourth and sixth grades.. Warren Jeffs had excellent security for himself while he was there. That same force could be used to give the judge much needed privacy from his stalkers when he so desired it.

The only flaw I see to the plan is that, under the present regime, neither the present bailiff nor the one he replaced would be all that welcome on the ranch due to pseudo-religious beliefs and simple bigotry of the population at large. The Judge would have to work tirelessly to enforce racial equality in order for either of them even to visit, much less to make their permanent residences there.

These are merely musings on my part. If it suited him better, the Judge could, like Jared, take a flying leap off some rock jutting high above over the pacific and, likewise, land a perfect belly-flop, ideally into shark-infested waters.

I'm no closer to sleep than I was when I began this discourse, but I've at least accomplished something constructive.