Friday, June 22, 2012

A Menace to the Common Good

My uncle has recently begun referring to me as the menace to the common good. In my current brain-injured and drug-induced stupor, I don't exactly know what that means. Even were I not  drug-induced and brain-injured, I doubt I would know what he meant by it. I don't suppose it really matters, anyway. If it gives him comfort to say that, by all means he should say it.

One thing just occurred to me that I don't think I've ever shared on my blog, which is that I am not allowed to shop at Walmart, nor is my brother. My parents choose not to shop there. My father has some deep-seated animosity toward Sam Walton. He says his blood pressure rises dangerously each time he hears the man's name. My suspicion is that this is a whole load of nonsense. For one thing, on public service announcements, high blood pressure is referred to as 'The Silent Killer" because it kills people with no symptoms or warning signs. So how is it that my father happens to be the one person on the face of the Earth who has no need of a sphygmomanometer because he can miraculously tell when his blood pressure rises? It sounds just a bit convenient to me.

Anyway, I've decided that as soon as I'm paroled from this hospital, I will go to Walmart. I won't buy anything there, because I'm not trying to be defiant or impudent. I just want to see the place so I'll know what it is I'm avoiding.

Speaking of blood pressure, a nurse is here to check mine. I was hooked up to automatic monitors until about an hour ago. Now the peasants have to come and check my vital signs manually.

I will be back to spout more brain-concussed nonsense at a time to be determined later.

1 comment:

  1. When you go, make sure to bring some sort of camera to capture the insanity that goes on there. And there is always something to comment about at every shopping trip, though I haven't been in a Walmart for a while.

    A few months ago, someone in our local Walmart was escorted out of the store because he was eating the raw hamburger meat. Your dad is a smart man not to shop there, though I doubt his reasons are exactly the same as mine.