Wednesday, September 4, 2013

I WON that freaking fecal smear contest, barf or no barf.

This is SO not my friends and me that it almost makes me sick -- not as sick as fecal smears make me, but sick just the same.  Were young people ever really like this, or was it merely Hollywood's impression of what young people are supposed to be like?

Tomorrow my friend arrives in early afternoon. I was up late last night, so I'm sleeping late tomorrow at aunt's and uncle's house, then driving home in late morning. I could seriously get used to living in a house that feels like a Dakota winter when it's just past Labor Day.  I was prepared this time and brought sweats, thermals, and warm pj's.

I won the war of the barf videos and bestiality pedophilia rumors. Jeffrey deleted.  By the way, all the interns working on the previous two days had to test that particular specimen. I was the only one who deleted my breakfast, but also the only one who got the diagnosis right.  The chief pathologist came by my work station and gave me a high five.  He said he threw up on his first fecal smear, too.  He told me to put Mentholatum or Vicks Vapo-rub  in my nostrils before putting on my mask next time. He said it still looks gross and you have to look, but the smell factor can be greatly reduced.

Tomorrow my friend and I are hanging out at the beach, but we can't stay for too long, because even with sunblock, she'll burn with too much exposure. She doesn't live in a sunny climate now. We want to spend more time there with other friends on Saturday, so it would be foolish for her to dangerously burn her skin tomorrow.  Sometimes really late afternoon is a good time to go.

I'm going to try to talk her into surfing lessons. She was on the diving team with me and is a strong swimmer, so she shouldn't be terribly afraid, although a pool is different than the Pacific in many ways, from undertows to sharks. In terms of undertows, I listen to the experts and don't go in when they say it's unsafe. In terms of sharks, what are the odds? I suppose it could happen, but I don't lose sleep worrying about it. I don't go out terribly far when I'm swimming in the ocean, as I see no need to expose myself to unnecessary risks, but if I take surfing lessons, I'll go out however far the instructor says to go. I'm not afraid.

On Saturday my brother, Jared, Alyssa, and one of my brother's friends, in addition to a few of my friends will join my friend and me for beach frolicking.   No one will frolick with his or her blood relative, so it won't be disgusting.

Peace. love, and try not to play poker on your smartphone when war is the topic of discussion.


  1. I like the Vapo-Rub suggestion, though I would be concerned it would be like putting BenGay on your genitals. Ouch!

  2. I'll try the nasal block (vicks or mentholatum)
    with my next disgusting smear. I'll let you know if it's anything like I would imagine using Icy Hot as a luybricant might be.

    My dad said he used to have to use it with cadavers in year one of med school. He said after that, it wasn't bad. (For one thing, he didn't spend quite so much time dealing with cadavers.) If you're dealing with a corpse that's decaying someplace at room temperture or higher for days, the smell can be overpowering, he said, but when a corpse has been refrigerated, only newbies are not sufficiently conditioned to withstand the odor.

  3. When I was in high school, our advanced biology class took a trip to the local medical school and visited the gross anatomy lab. I will never forget the smell... and watching a classmate faint because one of the female cadavers looked like her grandmother.