Butter

Butter has good and bad uses as far as I'm concerned.  It's a horrible source of saturated fat. Margarine was inititally touted as the great solution to butter and its saturated fat issues, but, like any "perfect solution,"  the verdict sometimes doesn't come in for quite awhile after it's been in use, and, furthermore, margarine tastes much like what I would imagine pureed rabbit dung to taste. The verdict, of course, eventually came in regarding margarine in the form of the knowledge that the trans-fat substances were more harmful than the saturated fat found in butter.

I detest the greasy, slimy texture of unmelted butter or even the overall greasiness of melted butter unless poured over a whole lot of popcorn. My brother makes a medium-sized bowl full of popcorn with our hot air popper, then melts half a cube of butter and drenches the popcorn with it.  Just watching him eat the concoction makes me nearly physically ill. I can eat butter on toast when the toast is lightly buttered and the butter is thoroughly melted into the toast. i can eat it on baked or broiled garlic bread. I can eat it when it's an ingredient in a cookie, cake or similar recipe, or if it's in an alfredo sauce recipe. I can't spread butter on a roll or piece of bread and eat it in its congealed state.  if someone handed me a pat of butter and forced me to eat it, I would for sure toss my cookies. In fact, the amount of money I'd have to be goiven to eat a piece of butter in its cold, congealed form would have to be at least one million dollars.  Just thinking about it is starting to make me nauseous. Butter in its congealed form or by itself is most definitely on my Donner Party List.

Though I've explained the situation over and over to him, my dad continues to be a complete smartass when it comes to my relationship with butter.  if he sees me pick up a homemade cookie, he grabs it out of my hand and says, "You can't eat that. It has butter in it," though I've thoroughly explained to him in what forms I can and cannot consume butter.  He just can't grasp the distinction. Tonight my mom is making garlic bread to go with spaghetti. I'll have the same argument with my dad that I have everytime something with butter as an ingredient that is edible in my book is served. 

In thelong run, it would be simpler just to go to the drive through at In & Out Burger.

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