Thursday, January 5, 2012

Michele Bachman induces Migraines

I had the beginnings of a migraine when i went to sleep. Sometimes, if 'm lucky, I can fall asleep with the early signs of a migraine and beat the dastardly headache through sheer willpower and sleep. Such was not to be the case. Someone left the TV on downstaris. A news channel was replaying parts of Michele bahcman's Iowa campaign speeches and her concession speech. There's somthing about her voice that gives me headaches. in this case, i didn't reach the level of full consciousness, in which case I would have gotten aut of bed and turned the TV off. Instead, the words of Michele Bachman incorporated themselves into my dreasm, and there was no escaoing the grating sound of her voice. suddenly I was back in middle school, and Michelle Bachman was my English teacher. Didn't everyone have at least one middle school teacher who bore an uncanny resemblance to Michele Bachman?

Eventually I reached the stage of semi-consciousness and realized that the content of my stomach were not to remain in my stomach much longer. i made it to the bathroom in time to avoid any messy situations. In my beeline to the porcelain God, I must have made enough noise to awaken most of the household. The three adults were awake and staring at me when I emerged from the bathroom. I tired explaining about Michele Bachman and middle school teachers, but my aunt just guided me to the direction of my sofa bed.

My temp was slightly below normal, blood pressure was a little low, heartrate was a little fast and eyes were normal, All of these were consistent with migraines except that sometimes pupil size can differ from one eye t the next. Had I listened to any more of Michelle Bachman, one pupil would have been the size of a pinpoint, while the other wuld have covered my entire iris. I exited for the bathroom in the nick of time, and when I awoke, someone had mercifully turned off the TV.

The other doctor across the street -- my surgeon -= had my headache medication.  He took a quick look at me and concluded what the other doctor had concluded. my aunt whispered to him, "Just don't ask her what brought it on. She''ll start rambling about michelle Bachman." The surgeon rolled his eyes as he filled a syringe.

i'mnot fond of injections, but i'm even less fond of migraines, so I took the shot with not fighting, arguing, or complaining. The adult stood as sentries, watching to ensure that I didn't have an anaphylactic reaction tothe medicine I'd received in the same form and dosage as before. exactly what they planned ot do about it if I di go into shock a a reult of an allergic reaction was a mysetery. I didn't see a breathing tube naywhere near. Maybe one of the doctors was hiding one up his sleeve.

The effects of the medication hit before the waiting period for anaphylaxis expired, so I went to sleep with four adults staring at me. I woke up a few minutes ago. My uncle gave me a pill form of the same drug, which I am allowed to have after an injection. I'm growing sleepy again, so I'll sign off, but not before warning you of the dangers of Michelle Machman's voice. Many years ago there was something in the news about the voice of tY personailty Mary hart inducing seizures in susceptible individuals. I think we've got a similar phenomen going with Michelle bachman's voice and migraines. if anyone gets a migraine after hearing Michelle bachman's voice, please report it to the CDC in Atlanta ASAP. 

Please ignore errors. I'll try to fix them in the morning. Right now my vision is distorted and my laptop is being pulled from my grasp.

Whatever is the standard Minnesota term for "good night."



  1. I hope you feel better quickly.

  2. i'm good, Amelia. My headhaches usually respond to medication. The only side effect is that I'm a little low-energy the next day. It's not as though I had any marathons to run today, anyway.

  3. Migraines are horrible. As a fellow sufferer you have my sympathy.