Saturday, July 5, 2014

Message from Alexis' Father

Alexis has ulcerative colitis and  has had a recent flare. She's been struggling since she came back from her Catalina trip on around June 13. Things seemed to be clearing up, but looking back, she started to become whiny  yesterday. I should have noticed,  but was busy with a work project, and her mother was out of town until late last night.

Today my wife and I attended a birthday party for our Godchild. Alexis was unable to attend the party because for  one thing, she really wasn't feeling good enough to go anywhere, and for another, the host of the party was concerned that even with ulcerative colitis being a non-communicable illness, in her weakened state she could be carrying something either viral or bacterial that would be communicable.  I understand after reading her blog that she took this very personally. Had I known how she felt about being forcibly excluded from the party, I would have at least stayed home with her. I would have stayed with her also had I known how ill she was. Alexis doesn't come right out and tell us that an illness is getting worse. It's up to us to figure it  out on our own. Sometimes we catch it and sometimes we miss it. This time we missed.

Once Alexis figured out today that she needed medical attention, she went through the motions of calling us, knowing we probably wouldn't have cell phones close by and that, with the party being held outside, the hosts wouldn't hear their home phone ringing. She could have driven the approximately one mile to the site of the party, or could even have driven herself to the  hospital had she insisted on such independence, but instead  decided for some reason that she should drive herself to Fresno to seek medical treatment. She doesn't know anyone, doctor or otherwise, in Fresno.  About an hour into her trip, she could not drive any longer. She pulled off the highway to  a fast food restaurant to use their bathroom. An employee found her unconscious on the restroom floor.  Because of the route she had taken, the hospital where she usually seeks treatment was the one where anyone seriously ill is automatically transported. 

She had significant colon bleeding, due primarily to a particular ulcer, although the entire transverse colon is ulcerated.  Her doctor was able to perform a relatively noninvasive surgical procedure through the use of a colonoscope. She's comfortable now and is already more cheerful than she was when you last heard from here. Because there's no incision, she'll be released from the hospital tomorrow, although she'll be mostly on bed rest for a week.

I've read her recent writings. The "Mrs. Moore" incidents and the others related to my relatives not treating her well and poking fun at her appearance really happened as she described them. She doesn't mention, and maybe because she genuinely believes what she says to be the truth, that we would not have stood for any of it, either the family harassment or Mrs. Moore's abuse, had we known. Mrs. Moore, despite being middle-aged, was in only her second year of teaching when she taught Alexis. Due largely to the presence and actions of my wife at school board meetings, Mrs. Moore did not finish the  year with the school district for which she was employed and, to the best of my knowledge, has never been able to renew her credential because she was fired for cause. Had we known earlier about the pattern of abuse, we would have intervened earlier.

Alexis is telling the truth when she says she was not a pretty newborn. What two lb. two oz. baby is pretty?A baby of that size is doing well to be alive. It was too much to ask that  she be cute as well. Once she hit about eight months she was actually pretty cute though she did seem to be surrounded by a dirt-attracting magnetic field.  She is now maturing into a beautiful young woman.  I don't think I've ever seen a girl both so pretty and so smart except for her mother. She is not an ugly duckling by any stretch of the imagination.

When Alexis is ill, she becomes very immature. Ms. Russo, I believe you commented that how Alexis sees herself and how the rest of us see he seem to be very different. She only sees herself in that way when she's sick.  Tomorrow morning she will be the confident and feisty young woman she normally is. Thanks to her Twitter and Facebook friends for caring about her. I'm reluctant to name names, but I'll try. Becca, Donna, Marianne, Jaci,  OzDoc, Knotty, Amelia, and her hero Judge Alex, thanks  for being there for my little girl. Your support is appreciated more than you know.



  1. I'm so sorry to hear that Alexis is so sick. I'm glad to hear she'll be better soon. Your perspective of what's going on is appreciated, I'm sure. It's a pleasure to read this blog and the comments Alexis leaves on mine. I've enjoyed our correspondence very much.

    I hope she's well soon.

  2. Ditto knotty. I've enjoyed a delightful online friendship with Alexis. I do hope she is better soon. Thank you for your insight.

  3. I'm sorry to hear she is suffering. I too have a teen with serious health issues and know how pain and physical stress on the body affects body image and mood. I have an incredible referral for you, dr. Melvyn Grovitt himself has chrons and is one of the best to treat it with nutrition and nutraceuticals. He is my dgtrs hero, please take advantage and give him a call his brother practices in California and if my dgtr was strong enough to travel we would have brought her to him. Melvyn travels the country speaking on the topic and does distance consults, his incredible bedside manner is like none I have seen before. He is a game changer. Alex has my phone and email if you want more info.

  4. Thank you for the update, Alexis' Dad.

    Alexis, I really hope the procedure you had helps to manage your condition some, and alleviate your pain. If you need someone to vent to about this latest set back, you have my e-mail. The important thing now is for you to rest and get back to feeling like the spunky, outspoken Alexis we all love.

    I'll keep this message short, but know that I am thinking of you and

  5. Sorry to hear that you have been so sick. I have Ben incommunicado for a couple of days so missed that your troubles had accelerated. I know it's hard but learning to ask for and accept help is a milestone to maturity. PS It's one I haven't yet reached !Seriously ,please get better. Miss your cheer and your humour and being able to delight in your accomplishments .

  6. Oh this post brought tears to my eyes, there's nothing like a father's love. Thank you so much for the update.
    Alexis, I did read your post about your confidence issues and did not comment as I wanted to wait until I had time to do it justice. I am relieved to hear this is not how you feel all the time. I do love reading your posts and being allowed at least a little bit into your life. Sending love and healing thoughts.