Saturday, April 27, 2013

ain't much an old college girl like me can't hack



When the work's all done and the sun's settin' low,
I pull out my fiddle and I resin up the bow.
The [nonexsistant] kids are asleep, so I keep it kinda low;
Thank God I'm NOT a country girl.

When I finished the very last of my memorization tonight, I did something I haven't done at any length for quite some time, which was to play my violin. I don't play it nearly as often as I should, especially since the professor of my "Strings" class and my academic counselor think it would be wise for me to tack a violin performance major onto my existing piano performance major.

Doing so will be a bit of a stretch. I haven't had tons of formal instruction. My mom has been my only teacher, and while she's a great musician, she doesn't play the violin with the skill that she plays piano or sings. She's not unskilled; it just was never her major instrument.

I don't have my mom's level of technique at violin, but I achieve a naturally better sound with any song I learn to play than she does. I just don't learn to play songs as easily as she does because I lack the foundation.  She just looks at the music and plays the songs. I have to work out the fingering.

I'll need to improve my skill level to the extent that I will be able to sightread on violin at least a little bit, as I will be required to do so as a violin performance major.  Playing the works I'll need to play for my senior recital next year won't be such a challenge, as I can learn things in advance easily enough. It's just the sightreading that will hold me back a bit.  It's not the most important component of anything on which I will be adjudicated, but I will need to sightread with at least minimal proficiency before a faculty panel.

All things considered, I wish I'd learned cello instead of violin, as the sound a cello produces is such a thing of beauty. I suppose there's plenty of time for that later. If my Godparents ask me what I want as a gift for college graduation next year, I'll ask for a cello. That sounds greedy of me to ask for such a pricy gift, as I would want a good cello if I got a cello at all, but it's in the price range of what they would have spent anyway. Just asking for it hints of a sense of entitlement.

My academic adviser from the university counseling department says  standard pre-med curriculum majors with dual majors in violin performance  tacked on have a better chance, for some reason unbeknonwst to me, of gaining admission to quality medical schools and to prime residency positions, assuming they have high GPAs and MCAT scores as compared to the competition. Had I known that earlier, I might have scrapped the piano performance major, but I've gone far enough with piano that I may as well take the major to its completion. It will still presumably be  advantageous to have piano and violin to add to my math/science pre-med curriculum major.

It was about at this point that my mom's full voice began to come in,  causing her to spend an extra semester in school (she graduated in 3 1/2 years when it otherwise would have been just three) to complete the voice major.  It appears that's something not happening right away if at all for me. I still have a young girl's voice, which is better than no voice at all, but not good enough for a voice performance major.  I may never really be a singer, or one day I may wake up with a full voice.

Paul, if you're still around, at some point soon I'll post a vocal. You won't be all that impressed. I still sound like a kid,

Regarding my memorization, I feel compelled to offer words of advice. If you're planning to break a bone, there are a few bones you would do well to leave out of this plan. The vertebrae surrounding the upper spinal cord (neck and upper back)  are logical inclusions to this category because of the potential damage to the spinal cord, which is something with which you should not monkey around.

You should not wish to break you maxilla (upper jaw-bone, which extends all the way to the eye socket) because it  heals very slowly and often only with the need of much intervention, surgical and otherwise. Just thinking about it is painful.

Another fracture to avoid is the "Jones' Fracture," which is a fracture of the diaphysis of the fifth metatarsal of the foot. It seems trivial enough, as it's essentially the lower porion of a person's pinky toe, but in a disproportionately high percentage of cases, the bone segments fail to reunite, resultng in treatment of surgery and up to twenty weeks in  a cast. Think about it: surgery and twenty weeks in a cast, on crutches to keep your weight off it,  just for breaking your pinky toe, and even then it's sometimes a chronic problem that's never fully healed.

I'm gaining increasing respect for my dad, my uncles Steve and Michael, my aunt Joanne, and my uncle Scott, because all have made it through medical school, yet none of them are hypochondriacs.  I'm finding that just the pre-med stuff is making me paranoid. I feel every symptom about which I either read or hear about in a lecture.

My opening quotation was a slightly paraphrased version of an old John Denver hit actually written by his fiddler and guitarist John Summers. the penultimate quotation is Randy Newman's theme from the TV series Monk. I find it most ftting in light of all the things I'm learning in pre-med. I shudder slightly at the thought of what medical school has in store for me.


It's a jungle out there
Disorder and confusion everywhere
No one seems to care
Well I do
Hey, who's in charge here?
It's a jungle out there
Poison in the very air we breathe
Do you know what's in the water that you drink?
Well I do, and it's amazing
People think I'm crazy, 'cause I worry all the time
If you paid attention, you'd be worried too
You better pay attention
Or this world we love so much might just kill you
I could be wrong now, but I don't think so!
'Cause there's a jungle out there.
It's a jungle out there


All paranoia aside, my hard work for the quarter has been done.  

Hallelujah! Hallelujah
!Hallelujah! HallelujahHalle-lu-jah! 
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Halle-lu-jah!
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!Hallelujah!
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!Hallelujah!
For the Lord God omnipotent reigneth!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!Hallelujah!
The kingdom of this world is become
The kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ!
And of His Christ!
And He shall reign forever and ever!
And He shall reign forever and ever!
And he shall reign forever and ever!
And he shall reign forever and ever!
King of Kings!
Forever and ever! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And Lord of Lords!
Forever and Ever! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
King of Kings! 
Forever and ever! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And Lord of Lords! 
Forever  and ever! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
King of Kings!
Forever and ever! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!And Lord of Lords!
King of Kings and Lord of Lords!
And He shall reign
And He shall reign
And He shall reign!
And He shall reign forever and ever!
King of Kings!
Forever and ever!
And Lord of Lords!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And He shall reign forever and ever
King of Kings and Lord of Lords!
King of Kings and Lord of Lords!
And He shall  reign forever and ever!
Forever and ever and ever and ever!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hal-le-lu-jah!

Pardon my irrevernt if not outrightly blasphemous use of Handel's scripture-based "Hallelujah Chorus" from his "Messiah" oratorio, but I'm so freaking elated to be finished with the workload from this quarter than nothing else can adequately express how I'm feeling, unless it was maybe "Everybody have fun tonight! Everybody Wang Chung tonight!"

I wish for everyone  a reason to feel as happy as I feel at this moment.

#  The non-artist still known as Alexis















8 comments:

  1. I remember when I was in college, I realized that with the addition of one more class, I could declare a third minor. I had already an English major and minors in speech and communications. If I took one other class, I would be able to get a minor in journalism. I mentioned it to my adviser, who looked at me and said, "I think that would be 'gilding the lily'".

    I don't know what is required to get into medical school, but it seems to me you're plenty impressive already. If another music concentration is something that truly interests you, I'd say go for it. If you want to do it just because it might make you look more impressive, I'd say you're probably better off just enjoying your violin as a hobby. The fact that you have so many talents and aptitudes is in and of itself impressive, particularly given your young age.

    You didn't ask for my opinion or advice, but that's just what came to mind as I read your post. I hope it comes across in the positive spirit by which it is intended.

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    1. Knotty, it came across in the spirit it was intended. i hear exactly what you're saying. It's just that I know of ppeople with perfect GPA's and incredibly high MCATs (incidentally, whose skin color resmbles mine) who ended up in dental school. Affirmative action supposedly is in the past, but when it comes to med school, diversity is the key. My only really diverse factor is my mental health status; PTSD and oCD are not exactly advantages when attempting to gain admission to med school.

      If I didn't 1) desire with all my heart to get into med school; and 2) genuinely enjoy the violin, I would take my chances with the cards already on the table. I have a light academic year next year, and already have a good handle on the pieces I'm performing for my senior recital. If I wish to compete successfully with the Asians, playing violin is a great weapon to add to my arsenal. About half of the Asian med school candidates play violin. most of them aren't dual piano/violin majors, though.

      What I love most about playing violin is something I won't have an opportunity to show off to a faculty panel. I can play violin by ear (much easier than playing piano by ear, which I also do, even with my fingering challenges on violin, because it's only one note at a time on violin) or pick up a violin and add an impromptu obligato to whatever song someone is singing or playing. It's fun, and it's impressive to anyone who knows much about music. It gives me the pleasure that I hope to one day achieve when I play the cello that I will eventually get and learn to play.

      If it were more work than pleasure, I wouldn't take on the violin performance major. Even with the light courseload next year, one senior recital is stressful, and two recitals are exponentially more stressful. I figure I'll just need to ask my uncle or Dr. Jeff, my shrink, to incrase my Klonopin so I don't start hair-plucking again. And, stressful as a senior recital or two may be, I know that if I do them well, it will all seem worth it.

      Furthermore, if all my other plans fall through, I can head downtown with my violin, open the case to hold tips, and play on a street corner. It certainly beats the other street solicitation vocation, and a violin is much easier to lug around than is a piano.

      If it gets t be too much, I have no problem with declaring, "Enoigh is enough!" and pulling the plug on the violin performance major. The music department head has assured methat I will be allowed to do so wth no derogatives appearing on either my transcripts or my other records.

      I totally appreciate what you told me and from where you were coming. You're an LCSW, and you know as well as anyone that a person with mental health issues is more vulnerable than most to stress overload when too much has been undertaken.
      Still, my lily-white skin, even when I get it as bronze as I safely can, puts me at an extreme disadvantage in arguably the most competitive post-graduate academic field around. I could go to law school, and I still may someday, as I find
      so many aspects of it absolutely fascinating, but I don't like the idea of being relegated to my second-choice career.

      And finally, I can't deny that sibling rivalry does not play a role in all of this. My brother WILL be accepted into a prestigious medical school. He's a golden boy (even with hair a few shades darker than mine), and things ALWAYS work out for the best for him. He's not as cognitively gifted as I, but his GPA, while not displaying quite as many demanding courses as does mine, will still be 4.0. He'll take the MCAT prep course -- more than once if necessary -- and will study hard for it. Those factors, combined with his good looks, ability to speak articulately and his innate knowledge to know when to pour on the charm and when to appear more serious, combined with his having been an NCAA Division I athlete, will earn him admission to a great medical school. He'll have his pick of several, I predict.

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    2. Addendum: I certainly don't wish Matthew academic failure. He's my twin brother -- the one who's been with me for longer than anyone; we were womb-mates -- and I want him to succeed probably as much as our parents do. I just want to succeed a little more. He has the good looks and charm. It soothes my ego a bit for me to establish that I'm still the one with at least a little more brains. It's petty I know, but we carve out these little niches for ourselves within the family, and I don't want the equilibrium to be upset.

      I thank you for the advice. I would not be writing o openly about my situation if I did not welcome advice. Your education and credentials give you the qualification to advise me as well as anyone could.

      I also like hearing from rebecca because hse'smy age and is going through much of what i go through and thus can offer me a peer's advice. Other's, such as Amelia, Faery, Paul, Donna, and others have the advantage of having been through this phase of life already, and can offer advice based on life's eperiences.

      twoyears ago, I though most people over twenty-five knew nothing. I'm beyond that now and understand the wisdom of others who have been through things before that I'm experiencing now or will in the near future.

      It's still sometimes hard to take advice from my parents, though. I try to be mature in that regard and to keep in mind that just because they were the two people who spawned and raised me doesn't automatically mean they can't possibly know what they're talking about.. I'm growing up, but I'm not THAT grown up.

      Someday . . .

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    3. Got it. You are in the best position to know what you need to do to succeed. Moreover, I am no fan of affirmative action and can understand why someone of European extraction would feel the need to overachieve in the extreme in order to win a place at one of the best medical schools. And that must be what you're aiming for, because when I was in grad school, I had occasion to work with some of the med students at the University of South Carolina. I assure you; you would shine like a beacon there!

      Incidentally, I'm not an LCSW. I am just a plain old MSW. If I had gone to the trouble and expense of being independently licensed, my status as an overeducated housewife would be particularly galling. On the other hand, if I were an LCSW and a counselor, the Army probably would have put me to work dealing with soldiers who have PTSD!

      Good luck with your decision. It's a great problem to have.

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    4. MSW, LCSW, not much difference except that the LCSW's filled out a few extra forms and paid an additional fee for a license.

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    5. Actually, there is a huge difference. To become an LCSW, depending on your state, you have to do up to three years of supervised training with a qualified LCSW (which many people have to pay for unless they are lucky enough to have someone at their job who is willing and able to do it). Then you have to pass the clinical exam. As I specialized in macro social work, I couldn't be an LCSW anyway because the C stands for "clinical", which would have required me to specialize in micro social work. Some states do offer what's called the "advanced exam" for folks like me; it's the equivalent of the clinical exam, only the questions are about community development and such. I think North Carolina is one of the states that does have that exam.

      I think California and Florida at the only states that don't use the same exam the other states use-- they have their own system, so therefore there's no licensure reciprocity. That might have changed since I got out of school, though.

      Anyway, I had full intentions of becoming an LMSW, which requires passing the intermediate level social work exam. But I moved to Virginia (which, oddly enough, is where the exams are made) and Virginia only offered the basic exam for people who have BSWs. Since I was really more interested in writing and the public health degree I earned-- and we were BROKE-- I never bothered to get licensed. I didn't see myself doing a job that would require licensure. So that's why I'm just a plain old MSW (but I also have an MPH, at the risk of sounding like our RfM friend, A)...

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  2. And... by the way... congratulations for finishing up all your work! I know that's a great feeling!

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  3. I've always wanted to play the stand up bass. Not entirely sure why though. I'd still love for G to play piano, I'll have to research lessons, especially while her brain is so spongy.

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