Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Parole Hearing Tomorrow

Tomorrow during grand rounds the head honcho and his lackeys will decide my fate. Originally I was to be sprung from the pokey for certain either today or tomorrow. Then the pesky matter of platelets, or lack thereof, arose. One or another of the lackeys has nothing better to do than to dream of scenarios in which I could conceivably bleed to death. I could assist him. her, or them if  his, her, or their imaginations are running dry. Perhaps I could suffer a gunshot wound directly to my aorta, possibly even in the interception of a bullet in a political assassination attempt. My jugular vein could be slit by a crazy person. I could suffer an abdominal aortic aneurism.  I could even be attacked by an escaped barrel of leeches.  The possibilities are endless. It's just sad that the lackeys are keeping me here longer than I need to be under false pretenses so that my aunts, Godparents, and other miscellaneous relatives and family friends will deliver food to the staff.

Platelets, schmlatelets. Get me out of this $(@#^%*  prison!!!!!!

Gung Hay Fat Choy, and think twice before kissing someone with whose health history you are not thoroughly familiar


  1. Is it Chinese New Year's day?

  2. No, but it probably will be by the time Alexis is finally released from the prison (cough, cough) I mean HOSPITAL.

    Love, Uncle Scott
    P. S. We miss you!

  3. Get Better, even if that means staying a few extra days for Platelets. Did they tell you what number they’re at? I mean, logically speaking, just the fact that your spleen is gone now, is probably enough to throw everything off. I believe the spleen plays an important role with blood. And immunity. It might take your body some time to adjust without it.

    I don't know much about spleens, although after the HLH thing in April I did learn a little bit about them. Major stress put on the "little bit." Because of my coagulation issues, I get an extra vitamin k injection in my TPN at night.

    Rest up, take it easy, we're praying for you.


  4. Courage! Form an escape committee!

  5. Get better :) That had me cracking up :D