Minor Updates

I was packing last night for my return trip to California when PseudoAunt came into my room (technically her own guest room) and asked me if I wanted to stay for longer. Of course I'd like to stay for longer, just as I'd like to be 5'6" and have breasts, or have Christmas twice every year, and I don't mean the LDS tradition of a lame homespun imitation of the real thing on April 6. I didn't voice all of this to her; I somewhat censor my thoughts before voicing them around here, which is why the pseudos still somewhat like me.

The director of my facility called Pseudo-Unc. and asked him if they minded keeping me here for another week. He asked the Pseudos before mentioning it to either my parents or to me so that they wouldn't have to harm my supposedly fragile psyche or otherwise look like the bad guys if they had plans for the next week into which I did not fit or if they simply didn't want to have me around for so long at a stretch. It was a moot point, because the Pseudos were amnable to hosting me for anpther week plus change.

A less cynical person wouldn't so thoroughly inspect this gift horse's teeth. I, however, cannot refrain from speculating about the director's motives. After communicating with fellow inmates at the facility, none of whom have been fortunate enough to have enjoyed an already-week-long furlough, I've concluded that it may have some connection to the recreation rapist's folk-dancing course of study this week, which will evolve to a square dancing unit next week.

The other inmates, or at least the ones with whom I've been in communication, were less than enthralled with the forced folk dancing fivolity, but are offended, insulted, and otherwise not pleased with having square dancing forced upon them. I advised them to first attempt a sick-out. Next they could try feigning enthusiasm to such a degree that only the rapist falls for it, which would cause her to appear foolish to all the other personnel. I said they could try this, because it's not something I would do, but if they need an intermediate step between the sick-out and the real plan just to buy time, it's the best I can come up with off the top of my head. Next, they should turn the daily square dancing fests into dirty dancing extravasganzas. It's not easy to make square dancing an R-rated activity, but I gave a few suggestions. I would have recommended pretending to pass contraband around during the square dancing sessions, but we don't want anyone arrested. Actually, with fake contraband -- something that would anger the rapist but turn out to be totally harmless -- it's feasible. Diversions of a more lame nature have surely been perpetrated.

In any event, The Director must really want me out of the picture for some good or sinister reason if he's allowing me an unplanned extention. (The Driector needs a better name. The only thing that comes to mind is "Dear Leader" a la Kim Jong Il, though the Korean pronunciation would be preferable. Please respond in the comments section with other suggestions.) I'm deeply grateful that the Pseudos are willing to play hosts for an additional week. I hope my last sentence didn't read as sarcasm. I meant it sincerely. The Pseudos treat me kindly and make life fun. I try to make up for the inconvenience of having me underfoot by doing at least my share of the labor. I'm used to it when I'm home, anyway. With both parents working, my brother and I have needed to pitch in since we were farily small.
There's not as much work to do at the Pseudos' place because it's small (though more than twice the square footage of their old apartment) and there are only the two of them plus me. Dishes, laundry, and basic housekeeping are all that really need to be done.

PseudoAunt and I are playing tennis in a short time. It's something I haven't done much of recently, but it's a fun diversion. PseudoAunt is far better than I, but I can at least keep the ball in play for a few exchanges. She won't need to run today if we play a couple of sets. One of PseudoUnc's relatives is taking me diving and hurdling tomorrow. My season will begin soon.

On Tuesday we went snowboarding after the anti-nausea meds PseudoUnc gave me
took effect. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed skiiing when I was a kid. It had been awhile since I'd been on the slopes, but I seemed not to have lost too much skill, and snowboarding was very similar. After a couple of runs it actually seemed easier and more fun than skiing. We're going again next week. It gives PseudoUnc something to hold over PseudoAunt's head in order to persuade her to eat. Weekdays are best because fewer people are at the resorts, thus shortening wait time between runs.

For anyone sufficiently desperate for entertainment to have read this blog, I apologize for the mundane essence of the post. For record-keeping purposes I needed to note basic information. I'll attempt to tackle a more cerebral topic soon.