Saturday, February 26, 2011

Bobby Flay, the Female Edition

The Pseudorelatives had dinner with some friends at their apartment tonight. I cooked teriyaki chicken and rice for them. Their friends brought some side dishes and dessert. It's nice to be able to help them. PseudoAunt could cook but she gets tired and needs to rest. They have a lady who cooks meals for them and delivers the food to their apartment about four nights a week. This works out fine unless the food is meatloaf and PseudoUnc is in a foul mood. I cannot say anymore un;ess I want to risk a Vitamin B12 overdose.

Last night I went with the Pseudos to a dinner for her that was hosted by her former colleagues at the elementary school where she taught. It was a surprise. I can scarcely believe that she didn't suspect something, because PseudoUnc practically gave it away about thirty times. He never told me, but I knew. I didn't know it was her teacher friends hosting it, but I could tell it was something in her honor.

The entertainment portion of the night last night was a skit where a guy who worked there who had really hairy legs wore a Halloween Pocahontas costume (I had no idea they even made such large Pocahontas costumes) and pretended to be PseudoAunt. She must have been a complete hoot as a teacher. The skit was based on some of her actions in the time she taught at their school. She was always doing something dramatic. One time a real brat went in a lake created by excess rain water. The kid refused to come out, and the vice-principal said his teacher had to go in and get him. His teacher was something like ten months pregnant, so of course PseudoAunt had to come to the rescue. The kid wouldn't emerge willingly, so what it basically amounted to was PseudoAunt and a kindergartner mud-wrestling for several minutes before she overpowered him and dragged him to dry land. (She's tiny.) The reason the guy wore the Pocahontas costume is that the sixth graders had started calling her Pocahontas behind her back because of her long black hair, and the name stuck.

I'm staying in Utah until Thursday night. Why the director is allowing my stay to continue for so long is a complete mystery to me, but I'll take it. I do hope we snowboard at least one more time, although I'm not asking because I would seem ungrateful when they've already taken me snowboarding three times to want to go again.

It's amazing that I've been here over two weeks and still haven't run into any of my relatives who live in the area. (That would be the good kind of amazing, by the way.) I usually run into them at least once every trip. I am going to a Mormon church tomorrow, which certainly increases the chance that i'll run into at least one. In the past they haven't been in PseudoUncle's parents' ward, but I think the ward boundaries were realigned since last summer.

I really wish we could drive down south and go to a polygamous ward. I wouldn't want to spend the whole day in services, as the polygs usually do, but an hour's worth of polyg church would be fun. When we went before, we dressed as polygs. PseudoUnc was my dad and PseudoAunt was my stepmom. PseudoAunt wanted us both to be his wives, but PseudoUnc said that was positively gross and would make him look like a pedophile. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he already looks like a pedophile. he looks his age, which is twenty-seven; his wife looks like she's about fourteen. (She's really twenty-three.)

PseudoUnc's nephew and I are going out for pizza on Tuesday night. I mentioned to PseudoAunt that if we ever went snowboarding again, it would be fun to invite him.He has school, but he could surely ditch for one day.

The Pseudos' company finally left. I'll go downstairs and wash the dessert dishes now. They don't expect me to do it, but I like to be helpful except when I'm at home. I'm helpful there as well, but not by choice.


  1. I'm staying in Utah until Thursday night. Why the director is allowing my stay to continue for so long is a complete mystery to me...

    Perhaps he thinks of it as a punishment? ;o))

    I am glad you are having such a good time.

  2. Hi Matt!

    If it was the recreation rapist and not the director we were discussing, I'd say the reason was definitely that she thinks of being in Utah as a punishment for me. With the director, I can never be sure. He's really good at mind games, so I never totally know from where he's coming.

    I am having a very good time.

  3. In that case, he probably feels that being with your Aunt and Uncle is the best therapy you could have.

    He wants you well, especially as you are the child of a friend. That might make it personal, to him, to a degree, perhaps.