Friday, November 27, 2015

Pass the Turkey

I'm most thankful not to have been a part of THIS gathering.

. . .  nor of THIS one . . . 
. . .  nor, for that matter, of THIS one . . . ***

I attended Thanksgiving dinner yesterday with approximately eight-seven other people. Eighty-eight was the closest count I could get of the total number of bodies present, but those being counted were not all that cooperative in regard to being counted; some may not have been counted at all, while others may have been counted multiple times. Additionally, the head count includes the heads of numerous babies, who shouldn't necessarily count as total, complete, and separate entities for practical purposes, but since I didn't have a factor to apply to infants, I counted them each in the head count since all of the babies that I saw had heads. Hell, the pro-lifers would say even the in-utero babies (I have no idea whether or not there were any of those, though no one was morbidly [as in in danger of popping out a new kid before the meal was over] pregnant) count as separate and distinct individuals since life obviously begins at conception, but I will not go there.

After the dinner, my grandmother called us. She was appalled at the dinner that we attended and said that we must not attend another such Thanksgiving celebration and must instead have a smaller gathering at our home with just the fifteen- or-so biological relatives who might show up, that we or must attend her Thanksgiving meal in Utah. My grandmother is a nice enough person, but she's growing every bit as senile as many of her age-level peers. For that matter, her Thanksgiving meal, with just her husband and Utah-based children and grandchildren, wouldn't have been much smaller than ours would have been. I happen to know that the gathering she held was too large to take place in the home of any of the attendees and instead was a catered affair held at some rustic LDS-owned mountain location in Utah. At least all the food we ate at our over-sized gathering yesterday was home-cooked.

After the meal, my immediate family (my parents, my brother, and my cousin who lives with my parents when he's not away at college because his parents kicked him to the curb after he failed to complete his LDS mission because of grave health concerns) discussed the merits of continuing to participate in the gargantuan Thanksgiving Day celebration versus having a more intimate gathering with just ourselves and the families of whatever biological uncles and aunts happened to be in the area. The conclusion we reached is that we genuinely want to spend time with all the people who attend the large gathering. (Half of the attendees are only there every other year, as they spend alternate thanksgiving Days in Utah.) we have the option of inviting anyone we'd care to invite to the event. If we wish, we can have a smaller and more intimate gathering the previous day, the following day, or whenever.

One of the main things for which I give thanks is not having been forced for much of my life to attend the family Thanksgiving affairs in Utah, where the food grows cold waiting while for long-winded relatives to finish praying before we can eat. 

 *** shout-out to Knotty and to textile-free Thanksgiving Day celebrations (which, for the record, Knotty did NOT have)


  1. Your Thanksgiving sounds like it was more fun than mine was!

  2. What is a textile-free Thanksgiving Day? Also that was funny-- morbidly pregnant. I would like to go to a Thanksgiving dinner with 88 people and see what it is like. I thought of the following when watching that video that you put up.

    They have multiple personality disorder. It is very similar to the case of every human being. You know that you are much more than you seem to be. In the yoga, Buddhist and Hindu religion and even in the religion of Scientology you are not your body but you are God. You are Divine. But people have created another thing that does not exist that you can call the ego. When you become one with what you really are, that is when you become happy.

    Because Americans and European-like societies have brought up children in such a way they have a lack of self-love and self-esteem, it is reflected in the Christian religion. In the new testament there was one thing in the physical world that Jesus taught was holy. The new testament did not exist. Churches did not exist and Jesus taught that people should pray in private.

    But He taught that you should treat the worst person the same way you would treat Jesus. So the thing that you treat the best, according to Jesus, is the human being.

    1. The praying in private thing was mentioned in the sermon on the mount. many Bible thumpers totally missed that part of the Bible.