Sunday, November 22, 2015

Eye Rolling, Tongue-Twisters, Hard-to-Pronounce Words, and Telephone Harassment

On Friday in lecture, the lecturing professor hit upon the topic of difficult-to-pronounce words in our current topics of study. He then brought several tongue-twisters up on the overhead monitor for all the students to practice. I admit to rolling my eyes. I'm sorry, Judge Alex (the judge doesn't believe in eye-rolling, as in he feels that it's inappropriate, not as in he places it in the same category as the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy), but at the prices we, the students, are paying for medical school, wasting even fifteen minutes of our time on puerile tongue-twisters is eye-roll-worthy behavior.

The professor took exception to my eye roll. "Don't you roll your eyes at me, young lady!" he barked. I wasn't entirely certain he was speaking to me, as I was far from the only student who rolled my eyes at his complete and total disregard for the value of our time. "Yes, I'm directing my words to you, Alexis!" he clarified.

At this point, Cool Guy came to my defense. "Anyone who just rolled their eyes [sic], raise your hands. . .  Be honest." Almost half the class raised their hands, some presumably because they actually had rolled their eyes. The others were acting in solidarity against a totalitarian regime.  The professor ignored them.

"Why did you have to call me young lady'?" I asked him.

"You have a problem with being called 'young lady'?" he questioned me. "I've never even heard of anyone being offended by being called "young lady." That's a new one for me."

"Probably because you don't often refer to medical school students as such," Kal Penn interjected. "Young lady is something a person calls a female child when the person is reprimanding her."

"If the shoe fits. . . " the professor opined.

"It doesn't," I countered in my most monotone voice, all the while maintaining eye contact with the lecturing professor and exercising utmost caution not to roll my eyes again. "The shoe is too small."  

"So what would you prefer to be called?" the lecturing professor asked pointedly. I assumed his question was rhetorical. "I'm waiting for your answer," he told me. Meanwhile, the more easily amused among us were babbling asinine things like "I slit a sheet. A sheet I slit," thoroughly mangling their tongue twisters and saying the sh- word all over the place in the process, then laughing hysterically as though they were second-graders.

I continued to stare at him, channeling my inner Aubrey Plaza, though being extremely careful not to roll my eyes, as I pondered his question. He eventually looked away. For the record, it's the same professor who, months ago, questioned my used of the words debacle and fiasco, and who also asked my brother about my religion. (Matthew told him I was starting my own church.) After a moment, i answered, "Alexis would be perfectly acceptable, as would either Cutthroat Bitch or Madame Rousseau. Take your pick."

He declined to state his preference. Time will tell. For the record, this lecturer doesn't assign grades to us. Duh. I may be a bit stupid at times, but I'm not going to slit my own throat.

My phone has been non-functioning because someone created several bogus Twitter accounts, linked my cell phone number to all of them, and turned on notifications to a whole bunch of the people she followed using the bogus Twitter accounts. The moron was dumb enough to follow only people whom she followed on her for-real twitter account, so it was easy enough to find her. After complaining to the Twitter people, I took it up with her brother, who initially denied her involvement, but then said he would see to it that she ceases and desists.

Her awesomeness is incomparable.


  1. Sometimes professors forget that without students, they would be unemployed. :)

    1. That's the damned truth in a nutshell!

  2. If many students rolled their eyes, maybe he was watching you because he likes-likes you. Maybe it is better to not do it around professors or prospective employers. Notice that prospective employers now may ask questions completely off the wall to throw you off your game or see how you handle stress. So you should expect the unexpected in job interviews.

    Someone must have explained to the 6-year-old girl that is a neighbor what like-like means. But she must not know what attracted to someone means. I think she understands it to mean that it is someone that has a different sex. You are so intelligent that people are going to be very attracted to your mind (and your body).

    Of course I just created a theory. You do have an unusually light weight for a human. Human-like beings have been on this planet for millions of years and they change or evolve. They do not know if Neanderthals became extinct 40,000 years ago or if they interbred with humans. So maybe you are a new step in human evolution! If so, I discovered you.

    I saw the movie Phenomenon again last night and John Travolta played a guy who could do unusual things like move things with his mind. They thought it might be from a UFO but learned it was from a brain tumor that killed him. Or maybe I am just in love with you! As far as things to call you, I like My Angel Alexis.

    1. i like the idea that I'm an evolved subspecies.

    2. You are definitely not a normal human being. You are, at the least, an extraordinary human being. But I lean toward you being an evolved subspecies. But to find out:

      A taxonomist decides whether to recognize a subspecies or not. A common way to decide is that organisms belonging to different subspecies of the same species are capable of interbreeding and producing fertile offspring, but they do not usually interbreed in nature due to geographic isolation, sexual selection, or other factors. The differences between subspecies are usually less distinct than the differences between species.

    3. Yep, you're absolutely right. The ability to produce or not to produce viable [meaning primarily fertile] offspring together is what determines species classifications in cases where the animals are otherwise genetically close.

  3. I'm rolling my eyes at this guy and I hope he sees.

  4. This guy reminds me of the prof. that called me "anal retentive" in front of my classmates. As you know, at the time I wasn't nearly as assertive as you are. The whole class should make it a point to roll their eyes at the beginning of every class. Although, I myself am not really into the class uniformity deal (I would do it for you, but I probably wouldn't for anyone in my own classes), it sounds like you have a large enough group of supporters that could make it work.

    1. It's not so much that they support me as that they do anything that either Cool Guy or Kal Penn suggests.

      I remember your professor. Both your professor and mine remind me of Judge Larry Bakman from "Hot Bench." Lately any male who annoys me reminds me of Judge Larry Bakman [who was never a real judge] from "Hot Bench." I wonder why Judge Judy chose him. I find him to be very pompous.