Friday, November 13, 2015


"The best way not to get a broken heart is to pretend you don't have one." -- Charlie Sheen ****

Love is probably overstating it, but I was in a relationship from the very end of August until now. A relationship of less than four months is not exactly the substance of which history's great romances are made, but considering my personal romantic history, it lasted practically a lifetime. Like many relationships, alas, it didn't stand the test of time.

My former significant other was and is a classmate. This makes things perhaps just a tad awkward, though not excruciatingly so. It wasn't the most intense of relationships ever, and the split wasn't overwhelmingly ugly. 

I'm still not entirely sure the exact nature of the split. I was there when he broke it off (in person; he's hardly a blatant anal orifice) so I know what he told me, but I'm uncertain as to whether or not what I was told was the real reason. My friend asked me why the guy would lie about his reason. Sometimes the course of least resistance is easier than the truth. Sometimes a guy tells a girl what he thinks will be the least painful thing to hear or what will make him sound the least like a jerk when his words are repeated to someone else. Sometimes a girl does the same thing, of course, but I didn't break it off with the guy in this case.

There was (and still is) a slightly-greater-than-four-year age gap between us. The age discrepancy was cited in the conversation that went on for longer than it should have, ostensibly because the guy felt guilty, as a contributory factor. I did nothing to encourage him to keep talking, to rethink his decision, or to do anything. If someone does not wish to continue a relationship of any sort with me, that's the person's choice. It's beneath my dignity to attempt to cling to anyone who is plotting an escape.

I didn't give away to this person anything that I cannot easily reclaim. The preceding statement was intentionally cryptic, just as the guy may have been cryptic in regard to what he said to me regarding his reason for ending things. Had I been older, would he have been more open regarding certain things he may have desired in a relationship? I have no idea. One thing the guy said was that in a few years a four-year age difference between him and someone else or between me and someone else probably won't be significant, but at this point it is. 

My brother and I are younger by more than a year than anyone else in the cohort. Most of the students in my cohort are considerably more than a year older than we are. The mean age right now is 24, years, 10 months. I'm 20 years, 11.4 months. I try very hard not to be silly and to be as mature as anyone else, but when the people here look at me, they seem to see someone who is not their equal in terms of age and maturity. I cannot change who I am.

I've never mentioned or alluded in any way to this person in my blog. I suppose I'm doing the ultimate mention now, although if you're not someone in my cohort, you haven't the foggiest notion as to whom I may be referring. My own parents have no idea. My best friends from places other than here have no clue as to what I'm talking about.

If I were Taylor Swift, I would probably write a song about the guy, and everyone who knew him would recognize him in the song. He should probably consider himself most fortunate that he's getting off with a mere anonymous mention in this equally anonymous blog.

This, too, shall pass.

I don't really like Garth Brooks --or, for that matter, any country artist -- all that much. I did, however, come across a lovely cover of one of Brooks' songs by  Celtic Thunder artist Colm Keegan along with cellist extraordinaire Laura Durrant. It's their video, and I hope they don't mind that I posted it, as it perfectly suits my current rather gloomy mood.

  ****  not necessarily a person after whom any sane being I know would choose to pattern his or her life                


  1. As far as maturity, what does it mean that I get along great with little kids? I do know that this guy is really stupid for breaking up with you. As far as you being gloomy, this is part of the operation known as life. I would you give you a hug if I lived nearby. Actually if I lived nearby, I would want to give you a hug everyday.

    Could you read an article I wrote? It is one of the best that I have written but many may not have the intelligence to recognize it. It is about the healthiest foods to eat. Most articles tell you what are the healthiest foods and you believe it or not.

    This is not like this. It tells you the science of deciding for yourself if the food is healthy for you or not. All the wild animals know this but I did not teach it to them. Tell me what you think of it. (shortcut)

    Also there is a difference in the way that wild animals eat and the way that we eat, that prevents wild animals from overeating. Can you guess what it is.

    1. I enjoyed the article. I wondered if you would mention that breakfast is derived from "breaking the fast." You did.

      i do believe that if a person lives a lifestyle that is wholesome and in harmony with nature, most of the time his or her body will tell him or her what is beneficial to eat.

  2. I didn't find anyone until I was 28. You have time to find love. I'm sorry about the breakup and your gloomy mood, though. I know it sucks.

    1. I understand that the odds of my getting together with the love of my life before I'm even 21 are slim at best, but you're right in that it still sucks.

  3. Thank you for reading my article. I remember a conversation with a woman who had a blog. She just became an N.D. We were saying that a man wants a woman that is less smarter than him. You may find that impossible. You can't consider a timetable for love. It follows its own time.

    The only black billionaire in the U.S. is Oprah Winfrey. She talks as if Eckhart Tolle has the most valuable advice. He says "Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness" and "You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level."

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  5. Break-ups suck. They just do. Hang in there Alexis!

  6. Matters of the heart are complicated. Truly magical when at their highest point, and (depending on the intensity) abysmal when they come crashing down. I'm sorry you're going through that low point. I think the retail therapy was a good idea, especially since it was on something that you can channel your energy into through improving a skill. Hang it there!!

    1. The highs of relationships are almost incomparable. I'm still not sure it makes up for the lows, but they are really great.

      The breakup came out of nowhere from my perspective. The guy was talking a week ago about buying a ring. It was probably way too early for that anyway bt still I felt rather blind-sided.