Thursday, January 3, 2013

Nose Seriously Out of Joint, and Trying Hard Not To Let It Interfere With My Enjoyment of Snowboarding

Grade reports were released. I completed twenty-four quarter units with a perfect 4.0  this quarter. I've completed a total of 86 university collegiate quarter credits, all with a perfect GPA of 4.0. (I entered university with 84 units of advanced placement credits.)  I keep waiting to hear someone say something nice to me about it.   I keep waiting, and waiting, and waiting . . .  

My brother took fifteen semester units with a semester GPA of 3.3. That's certainly respectable.  One of his units was "university intercollegiate athletic participation: baseball." While this is not a cognitively demanding course, the work load requirement for a mere one unit course is astounding.  Even if no credit were received for his participation in intercollegiate athletics,  the demand placed upon student athletes who are indeed student athletes is labor intensive, to say the least. Still, my brother has had loads of praise (and some gifts) heaped upon him by my parents, by my friends of my parents, and by other relatives.

I've resorted to tweeting celebrities with the hope that at least one may respond with a one- or two-word verbal pat on the head, but so far none has found the time. My parents think my involvement of the Twitter  medium for this purpose is the height of absurdity.  What they don't seem to get out of all this is that their lack or recognition of my effort causes me to feel the same way I felt at the age of six when they liked the Christmas gift my brother made for them at school more than they liked the one I made for them.  This time they don't really have extreme fatigue and my mother's illness as excuses for their discrepancy, either.

My self confidence is beginning to erode as a result the total lack of acknowledgment of my academic achievements.   It's not that I'm beginning to believe I'm stupid because others fail to applaud my efforts. Furthermore, I recognize that athletic achievement is an accomplishment in and of itself, and when combined with adequate academic achievement, tends to stir recognition.   I don't begrudge my brother any of the accolades he's receiving. Beyond that, he is the one person who has commended me for my success, and I have heard him encouraging others to spread a little of the congratulatory words and pecuniary rewards in my directions.

I really didn't want to participate in sports this year, and it's a bit late in the year for me to be starting this, but the university track and field coach has been in contact with me since  before I announced I would attend his campus.  I'm hoping that athletic success in addition to academic success will allow me to be noticed.  It's a silly way to go about being noticed, but probably neither the very silliest nor the most self-destructive.  I could color my hair unnatural colors, get lost of tattoos or skin piercings, cut my skin,  starve myself, overeat, develop bizarre eating habits or rituals both of the eating or non-eating variety. Instead, I'm going to take up hurdling for a semester or two. In the grand scheme of things university students do, it hardly stands out as abnormal.

I just want my share of the attention, and I don't think it's all that much to ask.


  1. You wanted to be an adult. Now you are one so why don't you start acting like it? Or eat yourself into Xtra large clothing. I don't care. But do go back to California where fruits and nuts like you belong.

  2. Maybe they are so used to you performing at such high standards, they've forgotten to say congrats on a job well done?

    It's awesome that you have a 4.0 :)

    We don't always get noticed for the good things we do, sadly. Working, for example, you're expected to do your best because that is why they are paying you. You hopefully will get an annual review, where they tell you the areas they want you to do better in and oh here's an itty bitty 2% raise. If you're lucky.

    It can be hard, which is why a lot of people do things outside of work, with family/friends/community to make ourselves feel better. Maybe just do a good job for yourself, no matter what your parents/family say or don't say. It's your college education and future employment and life enjoyment on the line.

    Good job, keep doing it.



  3. Congratulations on your success!

    It's hard when you always do well at something to have people recognize that it takes a lot of time and a lot of sacrifice.

  4. Thanks for the replies. i understand that in the real world, a paycheck is what I'll get, and that no matter how well I do my job, people will not be falling over each other to congratulate me. It's difficult for me to explain, but I don't work hard necessarily for recognition, but it bothers me to see someone else receive recognition or accolades who is less deserving than I. If that makes me immature, I'm immature.

  5. And thanks for the congratulations and kind words here. It really does make up for what was lacking in real life.

  6. Way to go, Alexis! Your anonymous friend isn't very nice.

  7. Knotty, my anonymous friend is almost certainly one of several humanity-challenged (but liberally LDS-infused) cousins on my dad's side. I don't delete their comments because my parents wouldn't believe me unless they read the vitriolic messages for themselves.

  8. Sending well deserved praise your way! Given how far ahead you are and the obstacles you have overcome, I think that even saying "well done" isn't enough! :) I'm too tired at this point in the evening to string words into coherent sentences,, great job, Alexis! :)

  9. Thanks so much, Knotty, Tina, Rebecca, and Faery. someone in the family must've read my blog and tipped my parents off, because we're going out to dinner on Friday night to celebrate my success. I feel vindicated, although the truth of the matter is that a Little Debbie's cupcake with a "Nice job," would have sufficed.