Monday, April 6, 2015

Olivia and Bimbo: The Blind Leading the Pathologically Stupid

She looks about as perplexed as I feel most days.

Matthew and I traveled back to school late last night and arrived at 1:00 a.m., but it was well worth it to avoid the urban traffic. We've found a strategy that works, and we're sticking with it, though we won't be traveling that way again for something like seven weeks.

The professor about whom I dreamed did not lecture today, so I didn't have to relive my nightmare in the light of day.

We came back to find a small bit of drama not directly harming us in any way, and more of a curiosity than anything else. do you remember that two women were being very unprofessional in their meanness to me, and one of them, the prettier but more vapid of the two, flunked out after 1st quarter exams? The second one survived the cut, but basically no one would talk to her other than single-word answers.

Then Bimbo, another attractive but stupid pre-clerkship student, got bounced back to Second Quarter because of severe ineptitude, though no one can discern how she was ever allow passage through first quarter status. The woman doesn't even know what blood types are and is thoroughly stumped by the concept of an Rh factor existing in blood. 
God help any baby of  Rh-negative mother who happens to be Rh-positive if this brain-cadaver is involved in the care of either one.

For practical purposes, Bimbo shall simply be heretofore known simply as Bimbo with no further explanation. I can't keep giving the other female a long drawn out description, so she shall be known as Olivia. That's not her actual name of course, as I have no desire to be sued before I even touch my first real patient. Her name is about as common as is Olivia, so it works.

Olivia and Bimbo have reached the ultimate realization that no one else in the cohort particularly desires to study with either of them, though they were both placed in study groups and no one was being openly hostile. Lack of hostility notwithstanding, they've seceded from their respective prior study groups and have formed a study group consisting just of the two of them. Great brain trust that they are, they plan to join forces to kick the rest of our butts on exams. 

I'm a part of the original study group to which I was assigned, another one consisting of Raoul, the guy who looks like Kal Penn, a chines-American girl, and a guy from Taiwan, and I study additionally with Matthew's group, as there are a few smart people in that group as well. I choose to take advantage of the brains of as many smart people as are available to me.  I will likewise share any knowledge or tips I have. I have no problem with others tying with me as long as we tie with perfect scores.

I'm mildly amused that Bimbo and Olivia think that a certified idiot and a person of slightly sub-average intellect can break away from their groups and work exclusively with each other and even remain in the program.  It's a blessing for their  future patients, because they'll both be lucky to make it to finals, much less through them.  

That is unless Bimbo is something like a direct descendant of Leland himself.  We've long suspected she had connections, but most of us were of the belief that she was merely sleeping with someone important and not actually related to someone important.  Important people who are related to people so cognitively challenged usually try to keep the challenged relatives hidden in closets. They don't typically parade their family's embarrassing secrets through the halls of academia. I think I mentioned that Bimbo is seriously stacked, as in I could get a $15,000 boob job and butt implants as well and still not even be close to her league of stacked-ness.  Someone around here with at least a moderate amount of clout must be banging her.  That sort of thing can only get a person so far through medical school without a working brain or (ideally and) a pronounced work ethic.

None of it matters to me in the least. I didn't have to study with either one before, and I don't have to now. I have no dog in this fight. It's simply a matter of curiosity, the unfolding of which will be most interesting to observe.


  1. Alexis, you stole my idea!. When you said "Then Bimbo, another attractive but stupid pre-clerkship student, got bounced back to Second Quarter because of severe ineptitude, though no one can discern how she was ever allow passage through first quarter status," I was going to respond by saying that she slept with her teacher or someone important.

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  3. I have a feeling I know where you attend school... and given that, it makes me nervous that these twits managed to gain admission.

    On a related note, you make it sound like her boobs are bounce worthy...

    1. Regarding her boobs, the guys here are certainly impressed. They may not be all that impressed with anything else about her, but her boobs certainly have their attention.

  4. I thought Leland Jr died which is why the farm exists in the first place? So pretty hard for her to be a direct descendant (although I could be wrong)

    1. I don't know if he died in childhood or was old enough to sow a few wild oats first.

    2. And for that matter, i'm unsure as to Leland, Sr.'s other offspring. she could be a descandant of the older one, although i've never known even any trump descendants who were as ditzy as she is, so chances are that Leland's progeny are not in her realm of virtual moronity, which probably isn't even a word but I occasionally like making up my own words.