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| not my own laundry, by the way; I don't have a clothesline, and it would take three of me to fill up those granny panties or boys' briefs or whatever they are |
I have what my mom considers a very obnoxious tendency of airing dirty laundry -- my own and everyone else's -- in public. In this particular case, i sent pictures of myself to Judge Alex for the sole purpose of showing him that I am getting fatter. you may think I'm a typical girl with typical-girl body image issues, and I think i'm too fat, and I'm lamenting the idea that I'm gaining weight. almost nothing could be further from the truth. My dad sometimes refers to me as an albino Somalian refugee, and he's not all that far off the mark. Such is particularly the case when he references one of the pictures of me from a year or two ago wearing a swimsuit.
One of the pictures I sent to Judge Alex was one of me wearing a swimsuit. Thie knowledge of my having done this very nearly sent my mother directly to the nearest psych ward. (All it take in California is , I think, two doctors signing an order to that effect, and the person may be placed in such a facility even against his or her will. i'm not sure which two doctors in the family would have risked my mother's wrath by signing papers to have her temporarily committed (she's quite lucky my brother and I are not yet licensed to do so) but there was just cause from her reaction to my having sent photos of myself to Judge Alex.
"What in the hell are you try to do to the poor man? Break up his marriage?" she demanded
Let us be real for just a moment. If photos of skinny little me, looking all of seventeen on a good day even if I am actually twenty, were enough to break up any marriage, that marriage was destined for Divorce Court just as much as if a voluptuous woman had sent nude selfies to the man.9(I'm neither voluptuous nor did I send nude selfies, just to clarify matters.)
I would like to think Mrs. Ferrer has more confidence in herself and more faith in her husband (who was, after all, once voted the most trustworthy man on television) than to be threatened in the least by photos of a pale skinny little girl who looks like she's maybe but not for certain recovering from some life-threatening illness. She is from all accounts a beautiful, intelligent, articulate, talented woman in her own right. What about photos of someone who is younger than her younger child and looks even younger than that, in addition to looking somewhat malnourished, would ever make her doubt her husband? We must face facts here: my own mother is touched in the head. (This is one of my favorite Okeyisms.)
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| possibly where my mother belings |
I'm not going to post what I sent to the judge, but I'll post another one, and you tell me whether you would look at it and think the sender was trying to be a seductress or more likely begging for alms for the poor because of her state of thinness.
