Monday, February 29, 2016

My Brother's Love Life

Incidentally, this is not a drawing of me.

My brother is certain he is in love. The current subject of his infatuation is a twenty-seven-year-old member of our cohort. She's so gorgeous that she doesn't even look real. She's a dead-ringer for Julianne Hough, the former "Dancing with the Stars" dancer who is trying to be n actress or singer or something else other than a dancer. I don't really have time to be current in regard to pop culture. I'm doing well even to know that there is such a person as Julianne Hough. I only knew that my cohort mate looks like her because someone told me, and I google her to see if the resemblance was real or existed only in the mind of the person who first alerted me to it. The resemblance is legitimate, except that the "Julianne" over whom Matthew is pining is brilliant as well as beautiful.

Matthew falls in love roughly once each month, and usually twice in months that have five weekends.  I don't know if he's any further gone on Julianne than he has been on the others, but he's wandering around the condo practically walking into walls, and tonight he put ketchup on his peanut butter sandwich. He ate halfway through the sandwich before noticing that it had an unusual flavor.  

This is only the third time since we've been here that Matthew's love interest has been a cohort member. Another time it was a girl in the cohort two years ahead of us, and a couple times his crushes were RNs on staff at one of the hospitals associated with our medical school. One of them he met up with after I had a medical procedure. He was bringing me In and Out Burger because I was in grave danger of starving to death due to the suckiness of hospital food. Another time the crush was a girl who worked in a taco truck. Matthew's not a class-conscious snob when it comes to his women. If they're pretty enough he'll date them no matter what their station in life. (Remind me sometime to tell you about the bimbo who wanted to bear his child who was so incredibly stupid that at her part-time bank teller job, she gave away thousands of dollars in traveler's checks because the customer held a premium account at the bank, which entitled him to traveler's checks at face value. Bimbo thought it meant he got however much her wanted in traveler's checks totally gratis. That one was pretty, too, but she barely had a two-digit IQ.)

I have no clue as to whether or not Matthew will get as much as a lunch date with Julianne, much less to first base or further. She seems to think he's adorable, but in the way a teen-aged babysitter thinks the four-year-old boy she babysits is cute.  She's twenty-seven and female; Matthew is twenty-one and male. The difference between their ages might just as well be a century.

This would be how Matthew's latest love interest looks on a bad day. (Incidentally, this is NOT a picture of me.)


  1. Wow... and she bears a passing resemblance to Heather Locklear. Your brother digs blondes, huh?

    1. The taco truck girl was predictably brunette. Bimbo the genius had light brown hair, though she was bleaching it platinum by the time she graduate [by the skin of her teeth].He likes any girl who is pretty, and he seems to prefer girls with average-to-large boobs.

  2. The biggest problem with gorgeous women is that they usually have a serious quirk that is not obvious at first. Hopefully, the quirk is discovered before things get too involved.

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  8. Does he really think he has a chance with her?