Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Good King Wenceslaus Looked Out . . .

If  Good King (who was supposedly a mere duke and not  king, but once he was canonized and became Saint Wenceslaus, no one really fretted over the technical inaccuracy)  looked in my general direction, he would have seen and heard my barking and wheezing away, to the extent that I was banned from midnight mass.  Croup is a very large part of my destiny, and has been since my brother and I excited my mom's uterus because Uncle Jerry, the OBGYN of record, determined that the twins should be born at the optimal time fr the bigger twin.  Where the other twin was concerned, that was where the miracles of modern technology as it relates to saving micropreemies would come in.  As it turned out, the interventions would be minimal. all that was involved was tubes and an incubator for a few weeks . . .

That and the dreaded croup, which rears its ugly head in my general direction three or four times each year, and usually a the most inopportune times.  I've been told on numerous occasions that croup is an condition afflicting  babies, and that any doctors who have diagnosed me with such nooed to go baxk to medical school.  When I share this with my Uncle Steve, he either, depending upon his mood or on the control the person has over any aspect of my life, curses and tells me not to listen to them, hits a few buttons on his computer and prints out information relating to croup, and asks his secretary to mail it to them, picks up the phone and calls them out on their ignorance directly, or  puts a hex on the person so that someone over the age of eight in his or her family will be diagnosed with the condition in the immediate future.

Croup for me involves sleeping in a room in which my bedding has been made dripping-wet  with the proliferation of hunidifiers/vaporizers, and in especially pesky cases, sleeping under a nakeshift tent in my bed,  receiving steroid injections, and being force-fed doses of goshawful sludgy purply cough syrup that tastes something like I would imagine that congealed cow's blood would taste, not thatI would ever intentionally taste it.

I have company through this most recent  battle with the dreaded croup. My friend Meredith had been given permission to visit long before this dreaded plague struck. now what are my parents to do? Track her parents down in their cruise ship in the Bahamas? Send her to an orphanage? nope, she's happily stuck taking her chances with croup. My friends have a solid track record of avoiding croup even when residing in our abode. Meredith will sleep in a separate bedroom, but a few steps down the hall shouldn't that much difference. Still, she won't get it. my high school PE teacher would say it's because only babies get croup.  My Uncle Steve would say that communicability isn't all that likely among populations over eight or ten. Either way,  we hope the odds continue to work in her favor. If they don't however, we'll bark and wheeze together.

The goal is to be rid entirely of this affliction by December 3o, at which time we plan to travel to the state of the desolate, otherwise known as Utah, which, despite its state of desolation, does have   mountains with snow. We will, God willing, utilize the snow and the slope of the mountains to snowboard.

Pray for good health and continuing snowfall.


  1. Hello my friend, it's been ages again, but here I am :-)
    I hope your Christmas has been good despite the croup. I'm sorry to hear you still suffer from it...
    My kids both had it when they were small, nut luckily outgrew it.
    I think for milder attacks, cold, really cold air was nicest - we never really tried humidity. I remember sitting on the front steps, or by an open window, in the mid winter, me and a kid wrapped in duvets and blankets until breathing got easier. Also, inhaled steroids and bronchodilators, when it was worse. I think also cough syrup with pseudo ephedrine. Which would make them speedy and weird, but then let them sleep.
    I hope you get well soon, and can have peaceful days and nights.
    Aunt Maria in Sweden

  2. Aunt Maria!

    It is so great to have heard from you. When the air is just right, I can go outside, too, but the weather here is mild. Sometimes it's foggy, though, and that helps. Fog has been forecast for tonight, not that the weather forecasters around here predict the rain more accurately does the toss of a coin. I'll beat this thing in a day or two either way.

    How is life in Sweden right now?

  3. Ick! Hope you're feeling better and otherwise had a nice Christmas! Have fun in Utah!

  4. Sweden is nice. I'm having the laziest Christmas break in years :D
    Kids are great, my love is sweet, his kids are nice young adults, and there's even some money left for January, after the gifts...
    Take care, and beat that croup!

  5. Ack! Your Christmas sounds as lovely as mine...I have the flu. Sending well wishes your way. I agree with your uncle. Croup can happen at any age, especially with someone who has a history of being a preemie. I love when non-medical people try to argue "that's just not possible". Everyone right now is convinced that I must not have gotten my flu shot since I now have the flu. It's all I can do to keep from telling them that I wouldn't have it if people who are sick would be smart and stay home when they are sick!

    Sorry, stepping off my soapbox! I hope you are feeling better soon!