Sunday, July 10, 2011

Lucky me! I My mommy gets to accompany me to my classes tomorrow! Patholigical Liars' Day Part 2

The people in my classes already think I'm a freak. I'm 16 and-a-half and officially in college. I look like I'm eleven, or maybe twelve at the very oldest. Then I had the misfortune of getting a virus, which caused me to faint in class and caused all sort of commotion, including my splitting my chin open on my way down to the floor in the process of fainting. The chin is a highly vascular part of the body, as in it bleeds profusely when split open. So I already have the notoriety of being the only student in this particular section of my human genetics course who has either passed out or bled all over the room.

Unfortunately for me, my fever has not entirely gone away yet, and I have a cough that sounds like either I have whooping cough or am dying of tuberculosis. Neither is the case. Yet I cannot afford to miss anymore classes. So I have to go to class with a SARS mask on my face tomorrow and sit in the back of the room as far as possible from everyone else with my mommy sitting right next to me as though I'm a five-year-old visiting college because I'm curious about what big kids do at their school. Just in case I didn't already stand out like a dislocated thumb, I certainly will now.

I haven't been back to the loony bin much lately. The inmates invited me back for another Pathological Liars' Day as soon as I recover from this virus. I'll come up with all sorts of unusual lies, but I think I will also claim to be pregnant and in labor. I'll have to practice between now and then. Maybe I'll borrow a bra from my mom and stuff it so I can claim to have really large boobs while I'm at it. Pregnant women usually have enlarged breasts anyway, don't they?


  1. Yes, they do.
    I hope you feel better soon, and I'm sorry your mom has to go with you. That wouldn't make me happy either.