Monday, January 10, 2011

Mormons Eat Hormons

If my title for this blog entry seems a bit nonsensical to you, please be aware that it seems that way to me as well. I did not actually come up with it on my own. Credit belongs to someone who once spray-painted the arcane phrase on the driveway of an LDS family living down the street and around the corner from my home. The only way to get to my house, other than climbing over or plowing down people's backyard fences, is to drive or walk directly in front of this house. The people who inhabit the house either were not particularly enamored of home improvement or were concurrent with the sentiment expressed by the forest-green spray-painted message, thus giving me the better part of a year to mull over the cryptic bit of graffiti.

My family wasn't and still isn't acquainted with the family occupying the "Mormons eat hormons" house, so I never got an opportunity to talk to anyone in that family about their oddly captioned driveway. My mom knew teachers who had taught some of the family's many children, and she said that, based on what her colleagues shared with her and considering the spelling used in the truism (or falsism, depending both upon one's point of view and one's interpretation), the children occupying the house most likely spray-painted "Mormons eat hormons" on their own driveway. They were apparently slightly wild and not terribly literate children.

I've often wondered, whether children from the house or unnamed Mormon-bashers were the authors/artists, just what was meant by the phrase.
Does anyone have any ideas? What might "Mormons eay hormons" actually imply? What should it mean? Please share your thoughts.


  1. It's just LDS bashing by someone who isn't too smart. It sounds right up your alley Alexis. Tell your mom we're all glad she's going to be fine. We like her even if we think the rest of you are @$$es.
    Cousin, guess which one?

  2. You'd be cousin Fester, I would think?

    Let me guess, you are from the side of the family that nobody really likes. (Trust me. They really don't like you. And with good reason.)

  3. Matt, I think you may be right: it IS Fester!