Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Politics, Connections, and the Ugly Side of Life

This has nothing to do with my post, but I liked it.

One of my exes, whom I dated for just eight days before we mutually figured out it simply wouldn't work - too great an age difference (over 5 years - maybe not such a big deal a few years down the road, but a lot now) and too much shared family history (our families go way back; my parents are his Godparents, and his parents are my twin brother's Godparents) made the relationship practically incestuous.  In some ways he's like a brother, which was all the more reason to give up any notion of romance, but it's good in other ways. We quickly got past any awkwardness resulting from our brief liaison. Having dated for a week give or take a day did nothing to diminish our closeness. He has my back.

This young man, whose name I will not divulge for a host of reasons, is a looker beyond belief.  I don't wish to perpetuate stereotypes, but he looks like a male model to the extent that many people around here operate under the [incorrect]  assumption that he's gay. It's almost like he's  to good to be true. He is, by the way, a first-year resident at the hospital associated with my medical school.

Anyway, this ex was eating at a table by himself in the staff cafeteria when Enemy #2 (the beautiful but not especially intelligent one) saw him alone at his table and asked if she could join him. While there may b)e no place in writing stating that we must not enter or eat there  (or maybe there is and I just haven't read it yet)  we 1st- and 2nd-year med students eat in the staff cafeteria. We have our own concession and eating area.  It's considered  presumptuous of us to hang out in the staff cafeteria. It's similar to when I was a high school assistant  in a kindergarten class. We high school assistants did not go into the staff lounge during break times. I was never explicitly told to stay the hell out of the place, nor was anyone else of whom I know, but it would have  seemed somewhat audacious for anyone to have done so.

Where Enemy #2 (the operative segment of her moniker is #2) is concerned, however, audacity is metaphorically her middle name even if it does not appear on her birth certificate. I wouldn't put it past her to walk into the hospital's neurosurgeons' lounge, plop herself into a recliner, and tacitly dare one of the actual neurosurgeons to suggest that she belonged elsewhere. I could be placing ideas into her head that aren't really there.  I've seen limited evidence beyond her attendance in classes and hence her apparent admission to medical school that much of anything other than O2 is inside her head.  Anyway, I get the idea that she has achieved (if one would call it that) or acquired virtually everything she has as a result of her good looks and possibly also as a result of her parents' money, although here we're surrounded by people whose parents' financial portfolios compete with those of the Zuckerburgs, the Koch brothers, and others. My own parents are quite comfortable financially, but are no where near the top layer of of the financial stratum here. They're pretty much in the middle of the pack in that regard. My dad is esteemed, but not because of his wealth.

Anyway, Enemy #2 invited herself to my ex's table and proceeded to attempt to make small talk with him. He said he answered her questions with monosyllabic words and made no attemopt at furthering the conversation. She still didn't quite get, at least as perceived by him, that he had no desire to converse or to be seen with her. At one point, she allegedly made the comment, "Oh, you're just one of those shy types."

At that point he gave up his monosyllables. His words, according to him, were something to the effect of, "No, I'm not shy in the least. I'm not saying much to you beacuse I don't  have anything to say to you. The word is that you're a rude and nasty person who picks on people who are younger and smaller than you are.  My friends,  female or otherwise, do not behave in such a manner. And this really has nothing to do with the price of tea in China or anything else, but what in the hell are you doing in the staff cafeteria? You're not considered "staff" yet.  Just because you're as old as some of us who are on staff doesn't make it kosher for you to be here, eating, scoping out future hookups, or whatever it is that you do."  With that, he picked up his half-eaten tray and moved to another section of the cafeteria. He has no idea how or if  Enemy #2 responded.

This happened today at lunch. I probably wouldn't have heard about it so quickly except that the ex and I are preparing to board a flight for the central coast of California in order to be present for the birth of my pseudoaunt's baby. Almost everyone else living within the area code will be there, so we'd feel left out if our names were omitted from the guest list. The ex has accrued the time off. I haven't yet missed a class, and my professors feel that I am overstudying, so they're giving me academic credit for witnessing the c-section delivery. It's scheduled for Friday morning but could happen earlier depending upon what Mother Nature has in mind.


  1. I'm sure your ex's comments were quite a shock to Enemy #2. Probably doesn't get spoken to often like that.

    1. I would have paid money to see the exchange and the look on her face at the end of it. I don't guess she's smart enough to deadpan it, so I suspect her chagrin was obvious.

  2. Lucky girl to have the friends/ contacts with the savour-faire & chutzpah to deal with that. Some of us have had to wait for the wheels of time and fate to grind slowly to see such results. I remember one such in the year below me, Christian name,Sue , but universally referred to as Screw Mc,,,,,, for reasons obvious.

    She has hung around on the periphery of medical practice, broken marriage to some one who married her for citizenship reasons and generally has under achieved. Who I am I to judge? I just know that I got one of my most prized jobs because I was the opposite of her.

    Fingers crossed for Jillian's big day. We have had 2 disappointments. My daughter-in- law had an ectopic in January followed by a miscarriage at 12 weeks in July. Makes our little one double precious, but aren't they all .

  3. i'm so sorry about the ectopic pregnancy (thoughglad it was caught in time not to be fatal) and the miscarriage, of which there's no humane way really to put a positive spin. Thank goodness you have the one little one, and I offer prayers, hope, light, and positive thoughts and vibes that your little one will eventually be joined by cousins or siblings.

  4. Way to go, ex! He does have your back.

    1. he's a great guy and will be a great catch for someone else, who, I hope, deserves him. if we'd been born in slightly different times and under slightly different circumstances, it might have worked for us, but as it stands, I'm just extremely lucky just to have him as a friend. He'll be here presumably through a four-year residency, which will be through my medical school years. sometimes when you're away from home, it's really nice just to see a friendly face from familiar territory.