Friday, June 6, 2014

The Art to Breaking Up

Very few first loves are permanent. Such is probably even more the case when it's somewhere between like and love.  The course of true like or love rarely runs smoothly, either, and it certainly didn't in Jared's and my case.  It's not a particularly painful thing to me for it to be officially over, and I'm confident that it's over for good. I'm OK about it. He's even more OK. We need to cease to delay what was inevitable and we are doing so.

Jared is now with my very good friend Meredith. I wouldn't say she's my best friend, or then again, maybe I would say that, because I have about four people I consider my best friends, and Meredith is one of them.  I have no animosity toward either of them. Jared had the decency to ensure with me that it was really over before he pursued his interest in Meredith, and Meredith likewise had the decency to call me and ask if I had a problem with her dating Jared. I'll never know what either would have done had I said that I DID have a problem with their dating, but the truth of the matter is that I really didn't. Our case of true like had run its course.

Jared, of course, has the pesky problem of a tattoo bearing the name "Alexis" on his arm.  My brother suggested he add to the tattoo so that it says "Alexis' friend Meredith" instead. I'm staying out of this debate,  but I think Jared would be wise to hold off on either getting any new tattoos or altering the one he already has.  If his tattoo were to read, "Alexis' friend Meredith," what would he then do if the relationship with Meredith didn't work out and he ended up with someone named Jessica?  Would he tattoo something else up the inside of his arm to further modify the statement, such as "Alexis' best friend Meredith's worst enemy Jessica"?  It could start to get ridiculous really fast. At some point in time he probably should remove my name from his arm or otherwise modify the tattoo, but because what has all the characteristics of  eternal love at the age of twenty may not necessarily be nearly so binding even six months later, it would seem prudent to act slowly and with deliberation in regard to the tattoo.

Before anyone starts to shed a tear on my behalf, I will make a veiled announcement of my own. I have a new man in my life.  My family knows him  and his family knows my family and me, but neither family knows that the two of us are an item. We don't know how they will take to the idea, as he is five years older than I.  My suspicion is that his parents would be highly concerned with the age difference, and that my parents would be skeptical of my ability to look out for myself and to recover with ease from what they would foresee as an inevitable broken heart. When the time comes, if we remain an item, we'll tell them all, and they can like it or not, as we are adults and can do what we want within reason. My new romantic interest is slated to be  completing a residency at the same institution where I will attend medical school. It may be a short-term thing, it may be longer in duration, or it may be the real deal, but we'll have the luxury of having it play out  a couple of hundred miles from where both of our families live.  

In honor of Jared, I'll post (though it won't be seen on my screwed-up computer; I hope you can see it on yours) Jared's and my song. It's a silly song, the content of which doesn't entirely have that much to do with us or our relationship. Still, it was and will always be our song. Meredith and Jared will need to find their own song, as will my new interest and I.

                                    for Jared and for a lot of good times


  1. Congrats and have fun with the new man! As for Jared, I don't think he should get any additional tattoos in the near future.

  2. Yeah. You're young and have the whole future ahead of you… and it sounds like you handled this parting with class.