Late-Night Thoughts

My dad came home tonight, which was both bad and good. The bad thing was that I am still technically grounded, and he actually enforces groundings. The good thing is that my daddy is home.

Last night my mom came into my room at about 3:00 a.m. She probably noticed the light under my door and wondered why it was on. When she came in, she saw that the TV was on, I was listening to music, I was texting, and I was researching on my laptop. She thought I was experiencing too much stimulation for the middle of the night when I'm supposed to be sleeping. I don't understand what her problem was. Where the he!! does she think I learned to multi-task? Certainly not from my dad. Everyone knows that males cannot multi-task. Perhaps a male who's missing a testicle or something can, but not a regular male. Did you catch that, Bridget? I used the word testicle in my blog. This should provide you with the proof positive for which you are searching that I am indeed of the devil. Anyway, my mom did not approve of my simultaneous TV-watching, texting, listening to music, and researching. She turned everything off but the music, which happened to be Bach, of which she approves. Then she started massaging my head the way she and my dad used to when I was little and couldn't fall asleep. I was telling her to leave me alone but I fell asleep mid-sentence.

Tonight I was briefly reading the title of my last blog when I clicked onto this site. It actually said "LDS Woman on Dr. Phil." To my sleepy eyes, however, it looked like "LDS Woman on the Pill" at first. It's funny how your eyes can play tricks on you. It wouldn't actually be all that unusual for an LDS woman to be on the Pill. Birth control isn't expressly forbidden. If she's truly righteous, though, an LDS woman won't stay on the Pill for long. She needs to multiply and replenish the Earth to prove how righteous she is. Or else she can adopt Russian orphans.

I talked to my parents about using hot sauce as a disciplinary tool. Both said they would consider it abuse and would have to report it to the proper authorities if they became aware of it in their respective jobs.
I suppose Sister Beagley is lucky my parents don't live and work in Anchorage, or wherever in Alaska she lives.

I hear Daddy's footsteps. I need to shut my computer down and pretend to be asleep if I don't want someone to start massaging my head.