Monday, May 8, 2017

From a Guest Blogger: A Post From My New Friend Gemma







Please enjoy this post by Gemma Hunt as I put my feet up after an especially trying day.


Blogging is an interesting modern phenomenon. Some have accused bloggers (and vloggers, and social media users, and pretty much anyone who ever uses the word ‘I’) of bowing to narcissistic impulses. If you’re assuming that everyone in the world wants to read your published musings on your breakfast, then I guess there’s something in that. However, in general, I think that the people who accuse bloggers of narcissism are missing the point - perhaps even projecting some of their own more narcissistic qualities onto the blogger. Disagree? You may well be right in some cases. However, if you’ll just listen to me for a moment, I’ll explain my reasoning. You don’t have to listen, though. You can click away right now. And that’s part of my point:

Let’s have a quick peep at the psychological definition of ‘narcissism’:

“Extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.” (This is according to Google’s definitions, but a very short amount of cross-referencing backs this up - only not nearly so neatly and quotably!)

Working from this, it's easy to see why bloggers can be considered narcissistic by some. They are, after all, generally talking about themselves and their experiences. If you’re working on the assumption that everything you read on the internet is aimed at you, then reading about the minutiae of someone else’s day may well seem like a bit of a pointless endeavor. You may well question the motives of the writer. Why on earth would someone assume that you’re interested in their clashes with the Starbucks barista (or whatever)? They must be pretty self-obsessed, right?

Well, therein lies the rub: most bloggers AREN’T assuming that you’re interested in their lives. They’re not even writing for you. To believe that they are writing for you is a teeny bit narcissistic in and of itself, is it not?

Bloggers aren’t necessarily blogging for their audiences - they’re often blogging for themselves. Yes, it’s self-indulgent. But narcissistic? No. If other people want to read what the blogger is writing - well, that’s a bonus. But they don’t have to! A narcissist depends on an audience - they project their image of themselves outwards. Blogging may be self-indulgent, but it’s usually working inwards - helping the blogger themselves to make sense of their own life, rather than convey an impression to others. Unlike the narcissists in bars, who chew off everyone’s ears with interminable grandiose tales about themselves, bloggers aren’t demanding the attention of anyone who doesn’t want to give it. Many bloggers, when asked, will talk about the therapeutic and mental health benefits of what they’re doing - with nary a reference to potential audiences. Or they’ll simply say that they enjoy it. True narcissists, on the other hand, will wax lyrical about the number of followers they have, how great their blog is, how everyone loves it, etc etc.

Bloggers aren’t necessarily blogging for their audiences - they’re often blogging for themselves. Yes, it’s self-indulgent. But narcissistic? No. If other people want to read what the blogger is writing - well, that’s a bonus. But they don’t have to! A narcissist depends on an audience - they project their image of themselves outwards. Blogging may be self-indulgent, but it’s usually working inwards - helping the blogger themselves to make sense of their own life, rather than convey an impression to others. Unlike the narcissists in bars, who chew off everyone’s ears with interminable grandiose tales about themselves, bloggers aren’t demanding the attention of anyone who doesn’t want to give it. Many bloggers, when asked, will talk about the therapeutic and mental health benefits of what they’re doing - with nary a reference to potential audiences. Or they’ll simply say that they enjoy it. True narcissists, on the other hand, will wax lyrical about the number of followers they have, how great their blog is, how everyone loves it, etc etc.

What’s more, the more mundane and ostensibly ‘pointless’ blogs which everyone accuses of narcissism are, in fact, the very opposite. Narcissists tend to build elaborate myths around themselves - telling tall tales, elaborating details, and generally deifying themselves into ‘larger-than-life’ characters. The kind of blogs a narcissist would write would undeniably be self-obsessed, but they’d also be the kind of extravagant stories that people may WANT to read (although they probably wouldn’t want to meet the author in real life). Someone who writes a ‘boring’ blog about their breakfast is doing the opposite of what a narcissist does - they’re not building themselves up into something they’re not, they’re relating their life as it is
People have been making sense of their lives through writing for centuries. Does anyone accuse their diary-keeping maiden aunt of narcissism? No. Blogging is no more (and certainly no less!) than modern diarism.

Now, there are arguments to be made in terms of the self-absorption that blogging and diary-keeping can lead to. When a blog reaches a certain number of followers (or a blogger becomes obsessed with what they’re doing), that can lead to an artificially inflated sense of how ‘important’ one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences are in the big scheme of things. And that’s veering a bit close to the narcissism line. The trick for bloggers, then, is to keep their introspections useful and beneficial, without losing a sense of wider perspective. That’s not always easy, but it is perfectly possible. If you can take criticism or a lack of followers on the chin, without feeling ‘thwarted’, or that the world ‘owes’ you its attention, you’re probably doing ok. If you’re starting to feel like a bit of a celeb - it’s time to take a step back and take a look at your place in the bigger picture.






P.S. I could nor get the formatting to cooperate when I cut and paste this.t

2 comments:

  1. My blog is totally pointless. But it earns me a little pocket cash.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pocket cash in and of itself is a valid reason to blog.

      Delete