Sunday, April 24, 2011

My Twitter Followee Khloe Kardashian

Through some mysterious process unbeknownst to me, I became a Twitter follower of Khloe Kardashian. I do not recall ever clicking on a
"Follow" icon anywhere near her name, but stranger things have happened. Perhaps I've become a somnitweeter, or whatever would be the correct term for someone who uses a Twitter account in a state of sleep. Maybe my computer is possessed, and Satan or one of his minions clicked on the Khloe Kardashian "Follow" icon for me. Perhaps I clicked the icon in a momentary lapse of judgement or awareness, or maybe I left my computer unattended and someone else clicked it for me. Perhaps I've developed a seizure disorder (I've notice from my viewing of the TV program "House" that seizures are far more common than one might think), and one of the things I do during my seizures is to randomly click Twitter "Follow" icons. Whatever. I'm now a Twitter follower of Khloe Kardashian.

The logical course of action would be to click on the "Unfollow"
icon next to her name. For some reason I can't explain, I haven't done so. I don't usually even read her Tweets, which are many. She's a prolific if semi-literate Tweeter. Many of her Tweets pertain to publicizing upcoming "reality" shows featuring her or other members of her family. At other times Khloe Tweets about Laker games, which is logical, as her husband plays for the Lakers. Khloe Tweets to and about members of her family in such ways that would be considered inappropriate by my own family or, for that matter, almost any family I know.

Khloe recently Tweeted a criticism or complaint about her brother Rob, if I recall correctly, and his use of wax for hair removal from various body parts. In a moment of stupidity eclipsing even my normal stupidity, I responded via Twitter, "Why do you even know? I haven't a clue what my brother does or doesn't put on his private parts." I know that response from me was both stupid and about as futile as attempting to convert a Jehovah's Witness who shows up on one's doorstep to Roman Catholicism, Armenian Orthodoxism, Presbyterianism, or just about any ism more conventional than that form of worship which takes place at the Kingdom Hall. (If you tried interesting any of them in Branch Davidianism, you might actually have a shot at success.)

Khloe gave no response directed specifically to me. I don't think she customarily responds to fans' Tweets except on very rare occasions to those Tweets of an extremely laudatory nature. Still, not long after my Tweet to her, the following Tweet was posted by her: "Fake people really put a damper on my whole mood."

It may be that her Tweet and mine were parallel and not in any way interactive. If, however, there was a cause/effect relationship between her Tweet and mine, I am loathe to report to my 8.5 readers that those of you who are unaware and/or do not discuss what, if any, forms of hair removal your siblings use on their private parts, are fake people and you put a damper on Khloe Kardashian's whole mood. You, as well as I, should be ashamed!

1 comment:

  1. An anagram of her name is "Hairdo Leaks Ankh" does anagrams while you wait.