Saturday, July 10, 2010

Comments: Am I Missing Something?

I follow several blogs on a semi-regular basis. I dont comment on others' blogs often, but have occasionally added something to the lists in the comments sections. I've never written anything remotely abrasive or inflammatory, much less insulting. On the very rare occasion I've disagreed with any point of a blogger's post (I think this happened only once) I did so in a polite manner, and tried to agree with more that that with which I expressed disagreement. I've made every effort not to come across as negative, which is difficult for me, because in real life, I've been told that I'm often contrary and blunt to the point of rudeness. I've endeavored to keep this aspect of my personality out of the blogging spectrum of my life.

Why is it, then, that my comments are frequently deleted by the blogs' authors? You probably don't believe me when I claim that my comments are respectful. I am the first to admit that my synoptic style of writing is not excessively overloaded with a tone of respect. In this regard, I understand your skepticism regarding my claims. I will offer in my defense a character witness: my own mother. My mother is in this regard and in virtually every other aspect of my life, from the standard of cleanliness I apply to my bedroom and bathroom, to how much damper pedal I use in playing any given Mozart sonata, to how much garlic powder I put into homemade teryaki sauce, my very harshest critic. I do very little in any area that meets my mother's minimum standard of acceptability. Yet she has read my comments as I've posted them, and has found no fault whatsoever with what I've posted. Then these poste have gone on to be deleted by the blog authors. (I've long since stopped posting comments where the comments must be read by the moderator prior to being posted. The only possible benefit to my commenting under such circumstances would be to exercise my fingers. Virtually no chance exists that these comments will ever be seen in the light of day.)

My mother says that I'm taking this far too seriously and too personally. First of all, she says, these are people I do not even know. Why give non-acquaintances the power to hurt your feelings? Next, she saya that many blogs, while not actually designated as such, are "closed communities." The bloggers and respondants are either real-life or on-line friends, and that outsiders' comments are not welcome and will thus be deleted. She's probably correct, but I do take it personally. She says my age may be a factor as well. Many of the people who delete my comments, she says, are young adults who do not wish to be bothered with anything a kid has to say. While I try not to advertise my minor status, it's at times difficult to disguise. Furthermore, I'm not trying to deceive anyone concerning my age status. Even though I wish it didn't matter in such forums, I'm not going to lie and casually work into the conversation that I'm twenty-three.

My intended audience for this particular blog will never read this, so my having wasted the time and space in writing it was largely pointless. The few people who do read my blog are my teachers, all of whom are polite if they comment at all, some relatives, few of whom are polite if they comment at all, and a few "friends" I've come across on the Internet, all of whom, when they respond at all, offer courteous and insightful comments even when they've disagreed with some of my points. Regardless of the nature of the comments I've received. I've allowed them to remain. The only comments I've deleted are ones I've made myself, then have re-thought and decided they would accomplish nothing positive if allowed to stand. I suppose I would consider deleting anything blatantly obscene, as this blog is not designated as containing "adult content."

My mom said I should stop reading the blogs of people who have deleted my comments. Furthermore, she said, someday, if they don't already, most of them will have children. Random people will be rude to or dismissive of their children, and then these bloggers will have a vague idea of how such treatment feels, even if they don't remember my comments that they've deleted. It's highly unlikely that they'll remember my comments and their deletion of such, as people who are habitually rude would not likely recall given instances of rudeness on their part even if they were autistic savants. (No slight is intended toward the autistic savants, or those with "Savant Syndrome," as my mother has informed me is now the politically correct term describing or denoting their condition. On the contrary, I envy the memory aspect of their condition. I have a good but not perfect memory. I desire to be more like those with "Savant Syndrome" in this regard.)

I promise never to delete any comment made here (not that I'm ordinarily overrun with comments) as long as it doesn't contain the maaterial euphemistcally referred to as "adult content."


  1. I need to change how my comments are published. I received two of your comments, published them... but when I went to go back to answer they weren't there. They show up eventually, usually when another person comments. I just wanted you to know that I do publish your comments... they just don't always show up. I have my comments moderated, to cut down on spam, and all that stuff.
    So, I just want you to know that your comments are not offensive, to me and actually make me laugh. : )