|Britney at the end of her rope|
Let me say that I believe I have some grasp as to what might have been going through Britney Spears' mind right before she shaved her head. I'm not suggesting that I otherwise have a great deal in common with Ms. Spears, but I think I may understand what it might have been that drove her to commit the single rash act. As far as what caused her to barricade herself inside her house with her younger child and to refuse to come out when called by law enforcement, i haven't a clue, nor do I have any idea why she would have borrowed expensive clothing from exclusive boutiques and then let her dogs defecate on it. There are some acts with which my own craziness I can identify. Other strange behaviors, however, are beyond even my comprehension.
I'm still studying, though between crying abut everything and being sick, the studying isn't all that productive. At some point, after 20 straight hours I shall call it a day and go to bed. The calibre of sleep will be lousy if I sleep at all, but I have to try. I probably need pharmaceutical assistance, but I'd really like to get through this on my own without the help of drugs.
I probably should contact my gastroenterologist, but at this point, the very last thing I need in the world is either a colonoscopy a sigmoidoscopy. The colonoscopy wouldn't be so bad, as I would be at least partially anaesthetized or at least sedated,but the pre-colonospoy procedure is more than I can handle right now. I know about modified prep procedures,but I'm not sure I could tolerate even those right now, and what if they worked too well and I was still feeling the effects on the day of the USMLE? The sigmoidoscopy prep is minor (though even it it might work too well on me) but gastro-men are stingy with their sedation for sigmoidoscopies. i don't need the pain right now.
My plan is to self -medicate with immodium and ondansetron (for nausea both the night before the test and the morning of it. Immodium works too well on me, too, but I'll deal with its effects after the test.
All of these contingency procedures are in effect under the assumption I last long enough for it to matter. There are no guarantees.
|how I feel at the moment|