tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post4240239465712372144..comments2024-03-11T00:26:35.303-07:00Comments on The Many Banes of My Existence by Alexis: The Pseudos: Part ThreeAlexisARhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-61775920174507216082011-02-05T02:25:14.965-08:002011-02-05T02:25:14.965-08:00One more postscript, Alexis. Keep writing. You hav...One more postscript, Alexis. Keep writing. You have a gift. <br /><br />Much love,<br />Unlce Scott.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-40853385108127404022011-02-05T02:19:12.944-08:002011-02-05T02:19:12.944-08:00Hello, little niece. It behooves me to tell you th...Hello, little niece. It behooves me to tell you that Auntie J. didn't want me sending this message on her Google account because she thinks I'm drunk and didn't want to be responsible for this message's contents. I don't have a Google account, so I'm sending it as "anonymous," but you know it is really I.<br /><br /> It's been a long week for me but I made it through and am now catching up om my Internet reading. Actually I've been tying on a few with my father-in-law, your Uncle Jerry, but we're home for the night. I've decided to critique your recent blogs. My best critiquing is always done when I have a good buzz going.<br /><br /> First I'd like to apologize for being a jerk to you when I picked you up at the airport the first summer you spent with us. There's really no excuse for being unkind to a child, and you were still very much a child then.<br /><br /> Second, I would like to thank you for the compliment oncerning my physical appearance. I don't place much importance on looks, or on men's looks, anyway; I admit my wife's looks are very important to me although I married her because she's a good person, not because of the way she looks. Nevertheless a compliment is a compliment even though I think you should probably have your vision checked at the next available opportunity.<br /><br /> Next I would like to chastise you for your disparaging comments regarding my taste in furniture. Just what do you have against the grunge look in home decor, and what makes you think a 9-foot ebony Kawai grand looks out of place in the midst of said grunge? Someday when you've matured a bit you may come to appreciate the top-quality home furnishings that can be found in the Deseret Industries showrooms. Until then, I'll leave you to wallow in your bourgeois middle-class tastelessness.<br /><br /> Next I would like to address the state of impurity that is your adolescent psyche. Do you honestly believe that each time a lawfully wed couple, newly married or otherwise, is enclosed in a room, sex must inevitably happen? Yes, it usually does, but you should not be dwelling on or writing about such things. Get your mind out of the gutter, young lady!<br /><br />I thank you for the acknowledgment that my piano skills were at the age of twenty-four superior to yours at fourteen. Allow me to remind you that I've been playing since at least five years before you were born. Give yourself a break, for crying out loud! You're a hell of a lot better at it than I was at your age. Also, your violin virtuosity is something I could never approach even if I played violin.<br /><br />So I'm now the "epitome of gullibility"? Does the title you have bestowed on me approach the significance of, say, the "pompatus of love"?<br /><br />Your favorite uncle, "pseudo" or otherwise,<br /><br />Uncle Scott<br /><br />P. S. Eat!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-26784999163905540152011-02-04T22:34:50.939-08:002011-02-04T22:34:50.939-08:00OK, Pseudo-Auntie. i'll work the story into a ...OK, Pseudo-Auntie. i'll work the story into a post very soon just to satisfy your demanding husband. I know he's making life miserable enough for you as it is. I certainly don't want to add to his burden by leaving things out of my blog that he thinks belong there, even if they're not funny in the least. Besides, anyone who wasn't the epitome of gullibility would have known that I wasn't serious when I said it.<br /><br />Matt, I'm glad you liked it. Now tell me just what was so bad about the demise of the two former lovers' romance that even meeting in the office would have been such a bad thing. I'm dying to know. My life is so incredibly mundane that my sole source of entertainment is obsessing on the misfortunes of others.AlexisARhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-68893428732819283372011-02-04T19:18:44.322-08:002011-02-04T19:18:44.322-08:00An interesting story. You know, Alexis, I am still...An interesting story. You know, Alexis, I am still convinced that you should become a writer. Now I am even more convinced. Whatever college you go to, check out the creative writing options.<br /><br />And here's an example of a meeting that did not happen. <br /><br />Two former lovers might have met at the office I work at recently, but they missed each other by two minutes. This was, I think, probably a Very Good Thing.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17774822085901274565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-87355094782745640392011-02-04T16:26:05.962-08:002011-02-04T16:26:05.962-08:00Uncle Scott wanted me to tell you he's very di...Uncle Scott wanted me to tell you he's very disappointed that you left out the part about how, at the wedding, when he asked you how you knew what notes to play on your violin when you were making up the obligato as you went, you answered that God told you what notes to play.Just Jillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16898521926054973728noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-55072838191184634822011-02-03T22:26:50.282-08:002011-02-03T22:26:50.282-08:00Dear Alexis,
Please don't stop now. I'm dy...Dear Alexis,<br />Please don't stop now. I'm dying to read more.<br />Love,<br />Pseudo-AuntieJust Jillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16898521926054973728noreply@blogger.com