tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post1374411851924829829..comments2024-03-11T00:26:35.303-07:00Comments on The Many Banes of My Existence by Alexis: Let's Tidy Up the Nursery, Nazi Moms and Teachers, Bowling with a 7-month-old, and the (lack of) Plot of Brown BearAlexisARhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-83944777663548413962015-06-19T21:06:33.238-07:002015-06-19T21:06:33.238-07:00I looked up co-sleeping with baby with Dr. Sears.
... I looked up co-sleeping with baby with Dr. Sears.<br />http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes<br /><br />Here are excerpts: This doctor did not seep with her first 3 babies. They were easier sleepers. "Were it not for Hayden, many of our books might never have been written. Hayden hated her crib. Finally one night, out of sheer exhaustion my wife, Martha, brought Hayden into our bed. From that night on we all slept better. ►We slept so happily together that we did it for four years◄, until the next baby was born!"<br /><br />"Soon after we ventured into this “daring” sleeping arrangement, I consulted baby books for advice. Big mistake! They all preached the same old tired theme: Don’t take your baby into your bed. Martha said, “I don’t care what the books say, I’m tired and I need some sleep!” We initially had to get over all those worries and warnings about manipulation and terminal nighttime dependency."<br /><br />"Over the next sixteen years we slept with four more of our babies (one at a time). While it’s nice to now have the bed to ourselves, we have these special nighttime connection memories."<br /><br />You are good at math. First 3 without co-sleeping and next 4 with co-sleeping.<br /><br />1. Babies sleep better<br /><br />2. Mothers sleep better<br /><br />7. Reduces the risk of SIDSChuck Bluesteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291807414895185920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-35715161856979402772015-06-19T13:51:48.068-07:002015-06-19T13:51:48.068-07:00Are you saying that you do not like different food...Are you saying that you do not like different foods to touch each other? Remember Jay Leno of the Tonight Show? He did not let different foods touch each other and would also eat all of one food before eating another.Chuck Bluesteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291807414895185920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-67639131153112848352015-06-19T09:47:57.135-07:002015-06-19T09:47:57.135-07:00Yup it worked perfectly. My only regret is we coul...Yup it worked perfectly. My only regret is we couldn't get one of the new halo bassinets (we couldn't get it shipped to us when the baby was born). They can rotate to basically be in the bed with you and then you can rotate it out. It would be awesome. <br /><br />I absolutely believe there are risks for co sleeping. I will occasionally let a baby sleep in a bed with me but only once they are much older, my husband isn't there, and I have to move al the blankets and pillows out of the way. It's also usually an act of desperation where I can't stay awake any longer but the baby wouldn't go to sleep. Again this is usually with an 8 month or older baby and I just let them sleep in the crook of my arm. I never end up getting good sleep that way because I'm so concerned about the baby but it works in a pinch if the baby won't go to sleep any other way. I can't imagine sleeping with a younger baby especially every night! Not comfortable and the sleep quality would be worse for me. MangoMoonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-51966125505031563482015-06-18T22:51:51.419-07:002015-06-18T22:51:51.419-07:00Among LDS parents who are enablers (not all are, o...Among LDS parents who are enablers (not all are, obviously) I'm surprised that excuse doesn't come up more often in schools in the Morridor.AlexisARhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-18680784272811627732015-06-18T22:46:41.442-07:002015-06-18T22:46:41.442-07:00Makes perfect sense to me. I googled co-sleeping. ...Makes perfect sense to me. I googled co-sleeping. the risks are more than urban legend. Pack 'n Play's are great.AlexisARhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-2435768545913884042015-06-18T22:44:45.391-07:002015-06-18T22:44:45.391-07:00My philosophy if i have one at all is not to go to...My philosophy if i have one at all is not to go to extremes except in regard to safety.AlexisARhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-1417845851967876452015-06-18T18:15:51.800-07:002015-06-18T18:15:51.800-07:00Kids that young really don't care about the pl...Kids that young really don't care about the plot of the book. My 10 month old has insisted I read noisy farm about fifty times this week. It's just pictures of animals and what sound they make. She loves it because she is working on categorizing animals and learning what sounds they make (so far she knows a cow says moo and a sheep says baa thanks to last weeks obsession with moo baa lalala). <br /><br />I will also say that as someone who didn't have a ton of experience with kids before having them, a lot of parenting so far for me has been pretty intuitive. I didn't and still don't have a lot of parenting philosophy besides doing what works for us and the kids. I'm a stickler for safety but other than that as long as they get lots of reading in, lots of time to play however they want, generally have a schedule and as much healthy food as I can get them to eat then I figure they will be fine. So far so good!MangoMoonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-3802562968272988282015-06-18T18:04:16.636-07:002015-06-18T18:04:16.636-07:00For the first 6 months with my kids I have just ha...For the first 6 months with my kids I have just had them in the bassinet portion of a pack n play right next to our bed. Y get the benefit of co sleeping (Easy breast feeding, I don't have to wake up as much, etc) without the risks. MangoMoonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-32754308285287755932015-06-18T12:51:21.894-07:002015-06-18T12:51:21.894-07:00I suspect many mothers think babies are lumps of c...I suspect many mothers think babies are lumps of clay they can mold until the kid actually arrives. Andrew appears to be the malleable type who will go along with anything, but #2 may have a few surprises in store for her parents. There are limits that can be set (kids can't run through grocery stores tearing things off shelves and throwing them down) but a kid can be a little messier by nature than a mother would prefer. A mother can change that to a point, but then what's she going to do? Send the baby back? Probably not. She'll adapt. She's seen it enough with nieces and nephews to have a little bit of a clue that kids are born with personalities.<br /><br />It seems to be kind of a trade-off. A parent can set a few absolute non-negotiable priorities on which her or she will not cave, but you can't have a knock-down-drag-out war over every little thing and still have a pleasant life for either parent or kid. Even though the parent is in charge, there has to be some give and take.<br /><br />I'm speaking about this as though I actually have kids, when my own expertise is actually in having been a kid, which everyone has had. My idea, which I may find totally faulty once I have a kid, is that when they're little you give children choices wheneveer possible to avoid an autocracy and to give children experience in learning to make decisions, bur avoid letting them do things that harm themselves or anyone else. As children leave your grasp for parts of the day, you naturally, as a parent, have less control, so the child naturally has more situations in which he can make choices, some of which can lead to negative consequences for the child. You help the child to learn from these consequences (the ones you find out about) and hope that the child learns enough from the little things that when huge decisions that can lead to life-altering or life-threatening consequences come around, the child/adolescent/young adult has learned enough to make wise choices. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't, but if the parent hasn't been running interference for the child and covering up for his misdeeds for his entire life, thhe child/adolsecent/young adult is less likely to make really harmful choices.<br /><br />I'm a bit skeptical of analogies of tribal life anywhere to modern American (or European) life. We could also try to live the way bee or ant colonies do, but their circumstances differ so vastly from ours that it would seem pointless.<br /><br />You're probably similar to me in that while we may have our opinions about parenting, we know we've never actually done it and would be slow to tell any parent how he or she should raise his or her child. You, though, are in a position that your career could essentially force you to give parenting advice when it screams out to be given. You've at least had education in the field, though, where I have not.<br /><br />i was a strange combination of messy and compulsively neat. I looked like a disaster and my work was messy, and usually my desk at school was messy, but my room at home was beyond immaculate. I could not tolerate anything out of place there. Also, my food could not touch. i still don't like my food to touch.AlexisARhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-58428358490861031412015-06-18T06:52:05.761-07:002015-06-18T06:52:05.761-07:00I think Jillian would not have enjoyed being my mo...I think Jillian would not have enjoyed being my mommy. I was a terrible slob as a kid.knottyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10127277724751832329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-58601607163370483952015-06-18T00:18:35.698-07:002015-06-18T00:18:35.698-07:00I think that babies need to be held about as much ...I think that babies need to be held about as much as they want to be held, but that everyone sleeps a bit better when the baby has his own bed. iI others choose to sleep with their children, ir's fine with me.When i was a child I sometimes slept with my parents n if I was sick or scared of something.<br /><br />For privacy reasons, i can't print the names, but I know personally of the one mom in utah who rolled over on her baby and smothered it. maybe she's the only one, but she is one. I don't know how literallly yiou accept the Bible, but there was the story in Solomon of the two mothers in the same bed with their newborns. one rolled over on hers and killed it, so she took the other mother's baby and tried ton pass it off as her own. Solomon had to mediate in the famous story. I'm not sure i believe every Bible story is literal, though. It's a personal thing for everyone to decide.AlexisARhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-80626625325963776672015-06-17T19:19:27.947-07:002015-06-17T19:19:27.947-07:00You said "I don't think schools can funct...You said "I don't think schools can function if no one is in charge." If you look it up on the internet, you will see that home schooling is more popular than ever. I know a couple that home schools their 4 children and their children socialize with other children. But their beliefs are too Christian for me.<br /><br />Then there is unschooling. Wikipedia has a lot about it like, "Unschooling is an educational method and philosophy that advocates learner-chosen activities as a primary means for learning. Unschooling students learn through their natural life experiences including play, household responsibilities, personal interests and curiosity, internships and work experience, travel, books, elective classes, family, mentors, and social interaction."<br /><br />"While often considered a subset of homeschooling, unschoolers may be as philosophically separate from other homeschoolers as they are from advocates of conventional schooling." I guess this is an attempt to combine tribal living with modern living. I do not know the best way to raise a child in modern society, but I do know that things can be greatly improve upon.Chuck Bluesteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291807414895185920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-88878322203210430482015-06-17T19:05:15.075-07:002015-06-17T19:05:15.075-07:00I look at you as me being able to re-live my life,...I look at you as me being able to re-live my life, but in a female body with different parents and relatives. 5 summers ago I was looking at the list of people coming to a public vegan party. This stranger on the list, Jen, sounded like me when I was 17 years old.<br /><br />She had been to Japan and loved it, did martial arts and was a Buddhist even though she was just as American as I was. She sounded like she was in her 20s. I email her and she emails me back. Before I email her back, she starts instant messsaging with me.<br /><br />I turns out that she is 17. She was off from school for the summer. I never initiated an IM with her but she would IM me almost daily. It was around like 40 hours a week. She had a boyfriend and has brothers close to her age so she could not understand why she liked me so much except that she had trouble to relating to others since she was very intelligent.<br /><br />We have done things together as friends and there is no logic to explain why we get along together so well (it is not romantic). Growing up my 2 best friends were my grandfather and brother. Being with her feels like being with them.<br /><br />My nickname for her is the bard since she reminds me of Shakespeare. So there is still much more for me to learn about the depth of friendship. Shakespeare said as Hamlet " There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Chuck Bluesteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291807414895185920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-71590268450805698172015-06-17T18:39:45.080-07:002015-06-17T18:39:45.080-07:00Your above statement is true. For example when Ron...Your above statement is true. For example when Ron Paul was running for president he (ideally) believed in a society with no income tax and no social security. But he said that in our society, he could not take people off of social security.<br /><br />Whenever you say something that goes against my belief, I have to question my belief since I am very impressed with your genius and compassion. I have already thought about what you said above and know that it would be very complex to try to integrate an ideal with modern living.<br /><br />We have talked about the evolution of medicine and when they use only compressions compared to them and also blowing into their mouth. In CPR now they say that there is no need to worry one swallowing their own tongue. Who came up with that idea? The old CPR teacher said that this idea was taught in all CPR classes and that you had to prevent it.Chuck Bluesteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291807414895185920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-6275181008821026452015-06-17T18:10:42.103-07:002015-06-17T18:10:42.103-07:00Dr. Martin Seligman was told by his wife that they...Dr. Martin Seligman was told by his wife that they were going to co-sleep with baby. His first reaction was about rolling over and killing the baby. So he looked it up on the internet and could not find it ever happening except in the case of one being very drunk.<br /><br />Now I grew up with having cats or newborn kittens in my bed when I slept (only one at a time). I was never concerned about the above since I was aware of them while sleeping. In Philadelphia they passed out flyers saying that if someone has the lights of their car out at night, do not flash them since they may follow you and kill you since they have been doing this.<br /><br />It turned out to be an urban myth just like waking up in a bathtub of ice & water and you are missing a kidney. A webpage says "When done safely, mother-infant cosleeping saves infants lives and contributes to infant and maternal health and well being. Merely having an infant sleeping in a room with a committed adult caregiver (cosleeping) reduces the chances of an infant dying from SIDS or from an accident by one half!"<br /><br />"In Japan where co-sleeping and breastfeeding (in the absence of maternal smoking) is the cultural norm, rates of the sudden infant death syndrome are the lowest in the world."<br /><br />"The Academy of Breast Feeding Medicine, the USA Breast Feeding Committee, the Breast Feeding section of the American Academy of Pediatrics, La Leche League International, UNICEF and WHO are all prestigious organizations who support bedsharing and which use the best and latest scientific information on what makes mothers and babies safe and healthy."<br /><br />"For example, adults should not bedshare if inebriated or if desensitized by drugs, or overly exhausted, and other toddlers or children should never be in a bed with an infant."<br /><br />Of course I am sure that you will thoroughly investigate this when it comes time for you to have a baby and make the best decision.Chuck Bluesteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291807414895185920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-73266533482541897442015-06-17T13:17:33.360-07:002015-06-17T13:17:33.360-07:00Jillian often holds the baby when he's sleepin...Jillian often holds the baby when he's sleeping, but he seldom sleeps in his parents' bed. the American academy of pediatrics and the American medical association both recommend heavily agains tco-sleeping, and Andrew's father is a doctor,so he's likely to take those associations' recommendations.<br /><br />When Jillian taught 6th grade in Utah, one of her students' mothers rolled over and smothered the newborn that was sleeping in the bed with her. That alone was enough for jillian to keep Andrew out of his parents' bed as a regular thing.AlexisARhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-45843904927339921802015-06-17T13:13:28.399-07:002015-06-17T13:13:28.399-07:00We may have to agree to disagree on aspects of thi...We may have to agree to disagree on aspects of this. What MAY (or may not) work in a tribal society isn't necessarily practical for modern first-world living. i believe there are times children have to be told what to do for their own well-being. I don't think schools can function if no one is in charge. You may disagree. It's OK.AlexisARhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09797016673203467911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-33791379180664382712015-06-17T12:48:34.072-07:002015-06-17T12:48:34.072-07:00Have you heard of the 4th trimester? Human babies ...Have you heard of the 4th trimester? Human babies heads are too big because of big brains to come out when they are ready for the world so they come out sooner. The idea is to always carry them around like they are still part of the mother's body. If a baby is held all of the time, it feels very loved. If not then you have what you see on the news in America.<br /><br />Also part of the above is that the baby sleeps with the parents (in the same bed) and NOT ALONE. Had Jillian ever slept with her baby? Professor Martin Seligman was elected president of the American Psychological Association (APA) by the widest margin ever.<br /><br />He is like the 12th most cited psychologist ever. His wife also holds several degrees in psychology. They have slept with all 5 of their children for their first few years of their lives. Also when a parent holds their infant all of the time, the child is out in the world learning all of these things instead of locked up at home, so they mature quickly.<br /><br />The woman who learned these things from the Yequana tribe said that it was not easy unlearning all of the stupid Nazi parenting ways that we live by. Lastly there is Michael Jackson. They say that he never grew up. Jillian was at one time a fun loving little, but that is not the case anymore.<br /><br />The people in these villages like the above never grow up. They always adore their parents and do not become stressed out adults. They stay just like they were as children.<br /><br />Jesus Christ did not teach that people need to grow up. From bible: "Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, "Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."<br /><br />Also later in Matthew, "And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. "Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. "And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."Chuck Bluesteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291807414895185920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-74240712931231714572015-06-17T12:16:19.653-07:002015-06-17T12:16:19.653-07:00I had read that after the war, America had hired t...I had read that after the war, America had hired the brightest minds from Nazi Germany. Also they say that psychology was created in Nazi Germany. Sigmund Freud went to medical school at the oldest university in the German speaking world (University of Vienna).<br /><br />Adolf Hitler was an absolute dictator. This is how our families are run. The parents are the absolute dictators and the children must do whatever they say or else. The book, The Continuum Concept, gave birth to attachment parenting. The book comes from an American woman that spent years living with a stone-age tribe of people in South America that had been raising children the same way for over a hundred thousand years.<br /><br />Of course Christians looked at these people as Godless savages so this ancient way of parenting did not become popular at first (book written in 70s). Then a Christian medical doctor researched this and found this was the best way to bring up children. Then he, his wife a nurse and his 3 sons (all MDs) wrote The Baby Book that that promotes attachment parenting.<br /><br />In the Yequana village, where the author of The Continuum Concept visited, she saw some unique features. The children never fought with each other. The idea of violence had not been introduced. Whereas now bullying is a big part of American society. Also in America, parents can become bitter enemies of children (that is normal right?).<br /><br />Like the guy who went into an elementary school and killed children and teachers, first killed the source of his distress-- his mother. So American children have lots of issues with their parents. In the Yequana village, this did not exist. Not only did children not have issues with parents, but parents never told a child what to do (never, ever). The child always chose what he or she wanted to do. The children matured extremely quickly (like I did as a child).Chuck Bluesteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291807414895185920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6485729541580426717.post-87549574614911717532015-06-17T07:49:09.696-07:002015-06-17T07:49:09.696-07:00Too funny that the Mormon parents fell back on tha...Too funny that the Mormon parents fell back on that age of accountability excuse! Recently at a baby shower for an LDS woman, one of the guests worried about her 5 year old starting kindergarten. "Will he stand for righteousness?" she wondered. To think I might have comforted her with the doctrine.<br /><br />Donna Bantahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01271377907141866718noreply@blogger.com